1. The Outback is VAST and almost entirely empty.
2. Empty of people that is.
3. Fewer than 700,000 people live in Outback Australia, less than 0.1 per square km.
4. So, get lost in the Outback and you will most probably die.
5. Die dehydrated, hundreds of miles from life-saving refreshment.
6. That big thing in the sky will own you.
7. If the flies don't get you first.
8. Even if you don't get lost you're in the shit.
9. Distances between gas stations are vast.
10. Roads are mind-numbingly dull.
The Eyre Highway across the Nullarbor Plain includes one section that runs 145.6 kilometres (90.5 miles) without a turn. Concentrate or die!
11. Road signs are confusingly scary.
12. And the locals are feral at best.
13. Horrifying at worst.
14. And generally best avoided.
(This doesn't include the real locals, warm and welcoming Indigenous Australians who have lived in the Outback for more than 50,000 years)
15. The Outback is home to Australia's mining industry = DANGER!
16. There are snakes.
MASSIVE SNAKES, like the Woma Python.
17. There are giant, speedy lizards.
18. And giant scorpions too.
19. You are GUARANTEED to have nightmares.
20. Even if you don't get lost, there's a good chance a road train will kill you.
21. They Stop For NOTHING.
22. If you're crazy enough to try and overtake one, make sure there's a lot of spare bitumen. These babies are 177ft long.
23. While watching for road trains, keep your eyes peeled for native wildlife.
24. There Are NO Fences!
25. Kangaroos looking for blood.
26. Giant wedge-tailed eagles looking for something more satisfying than dead kangaroo.
27. Pissed off red kangaroos with serious attitude.
28. Or camels. Dangerous wild feral camels.
29. Watch out for giant wild feral pigs.
Better hope the hunters get them first.
30. Distances are so vast horses ride in the back of Utes. Watch out for stray horses.
31. There are no speed limits.
32. Dust storms can blow up from nowhere.
33. As can fire tornados. YOU'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE.
In summary, be VERY prepared and NEVER leave your car.
