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The fossil record shows Disaster Girl was there when the dinosaurs
…and some secret books of the Bible say she was there when Jesus
was on the cross.
She reappeared around the time the Black Death hit Europe, too.
Someone spotted her at Lincoln’s assassination. Oh no, Disaster Girl!
She invaded Poland in 1939, and it got worse from there.
Disaster Girl was seen on the grassy knoll the day Kennedy was shot, though no one could ever prove it.
And security footage shows she was in the bank with Patti Hearst.
She made sure the glove did not fit!
But she also made sure Bill knew who his new intern was.
And she helped Britney with some choreography for the VMAs.
She was seen giving Bill Gates ideas for Vista. Why, Disaster Girl, why?
And her face was well-known all over Wall Street, too — she loved borrowing from the Chinese!
And occasionally, when there aren’t more important jobs to do and she’s
feeling bored, Disaster Girl burns down a house just for fun.