DIY Sparks

With the news that Miller is discontinuing Sparks (aka the Hipster Beverage Of Choice), we bring you a public service how-to on making your own malt liquor/energy drink.

You may think getting that ideal mixture of alcohol, caffeine and taurine is the sort of thing only "scientists" in "corporate laboratories" could ever "come up with," but you'd be wrong! Dead wrong!! Here, in four simple steps, we show you how to make your own Sparks-like beverage, know to some as "The Good Shepherd":

Step 1:

Purchase Red Bull and a 40 of Old English.

Step 2:

Drink it...

...down to the label.

Step 3:

Carefully pour in a full can of Red Bull (or two, to taste). For best results, tip 40 to the side.

Step 4:

Enjoy. Alone. Again.