1. You never received grades.
“I know you got a crocodile in spelling but this has gone too far.”
2. Glass Blowing and Basket Weaving were perfectly suitable art electives.
As long as you’re expressing yourself.
3. You didn’t have a football team, but you had one KICK ASS lit mag.
4. Athletic credits were optional and/or nonexistent.
Competition ONLY fosters hate.
5. You have no idea how to dress professionally.
UNLIKE this baby business man.
6. Gym class regularly included yoga and meditation.
7. You know all of your teachers by their first name.
“I’m not a REGULAR teacher.”
8. Your parents did NOT allow drinking, but weed was fine.
9. You’ve never met a republican.
I’m sorry, there are 2 political parties?
10. You’ve been to your teacher’s house 4-12 times.
11. The vending machines were stocked with kale chips and soy nuts.
12. You’ve been drawing nude models since middle school.
13. Your 5th grade production of RENT was A SMASH.
“Nobody sells any coke in this pen without daddy getting a taste.”
14. History classes typically revolved around Spielberg films.
“Your notebooks SHOULD be open and you SHOULD be taking notes.”
15. Sex Ed came 12 years before sex did.
16. All school assemblies were fucking chaos.
SO MANY OPINIONS SO LITTLE TIME.