1. #TBT photos should be as awkward as humanly possible. Braces and bad outfits always do the trick.
2. We don’t need to see everyday moments in your life. Exotic beach with cocktail in your hand? Now that’s worthy of an upload.
3. If you think you look like a tool, then you probably do.
4. But it’s OK to brag every now and then. Remember, you want to be sharing how * glam * your life is!
5. Don’t try to be too artsy. You’re not Annie Leibovitz. YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS, BEYONCE.
6. If you’ve got it, don’t be afraid to flaunt it. Modesty is not cool on Instagram.
Seriously, no one is complaining. SKIN IS IN.
7. Selfies with your friends? Always en vogue, as long as you’re glammed up.
8. The inspirational quotes can stop now. You’re not Maya FRICKIN’ Angelou.
9. That photo you upload when you’re drunk? Ya, you’re probably going to regret it later.
10. #FoodPorn? NOPE. If Jesus didn’t Instagram the Last Supper, you shouldn’t be sharing your cup of fro-yo with the world.
11. Those pensive shots of you staring out into the distance? You may think they look deep, but really they’re just basic.
12. Instead, upload a self-deprecating photo. After all, if you can’t laugh at yourself, who else can you laugh at, really?
13. Unless you got a majestic manicure like Miley, we don’t need to see your fingernails.
14. PDA ain’t cute IRL, and it certainly isn’t on Instagram. You should swap saliva in the privacy of your own home.
15. Keep the goofy pictures coming. Everyone loves those.
17. A pet picture every now and then is fine. HOWEVER we do not need a daily photo essay of your dog’s life.
18. The same thing goes for your kids. It’s fine if they’re cute as a button…
19. But you don’t need to chronicle their each and every move.
20. It’s 2014, people. You need to step up your selfie game. Lady Gaga did.
21. No more memes. You should be showing off your bod or sweet vacay pics!
22. Stop acting like a model. Well, unless you’re like Heidi Klum and you actually ARE a model.
23. Basically, just end all screenshots. Kill them. They’re dead.
24. Congrats, you got a haircut. You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last.
25. Don’t be afraid to take down a photo if it doesn’t get enough likes. We’ve all been there.
26. Stop trying to make Picstitch happen. It’s not going to happen.
27. The weird sexual stuff? Terrifying, not titilating. If you wouldn’t want your mom (or your kids) to see it, it shouldn’t be on Instagram!
28. #NoFilter? More like #NoThanks.
29. And last but not least, as Niall from One Direction demonstrates, 99 times out of 100 you can pass on using “Toaster.”
- And Super Bowl Sunday has arrived. The Denver Broncos will take on the Carolina Panthers at Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara, California. Kickoff is at 6:30 ET 🏈