1. First of all, people ALWAYS ask you if your name is short for something.
2. Also, people love to call you "Sammy" like it's cute or something. It's not.
3. In addition to being a sometimes-annoying nickname, "Sammy" is also slang for a sandwich. Which is just plain rude.
4. It was TERRIFYING when you were a kid and your parents called out your full name because you were in trouble. "SAMUEL" and "SAMANTHA" just sound scarier!
5. If you're a guy, you've probably been teased and called "Samantha" as if that's derogatory or something.
6. And if you're a girl, someone has DEFINITELY been surprised when they first met you and found out you were a lady. "I thought you would be a guy," they said.
7. You've probably heard every Green Eggs and Ham joke there is.
8. And Uncle Sam humor? Plenty of that, too.
9. Sadly, quite possibly the two most famous Sams out there are both birds: Toucan Sam and Sam the Eagle.
So go out there and make a name for yourself. You know, aside from Sam.
10. And the most famous female Sam is probably a fictional character — Samantha Jones, from Sex and the City. But she holds her own.
11. Then there's the most famous Sam of them all, Samuel L. Jackson. How are we supposed to live up to his lofty standards for the name?!?
12. Worst of all, when you're named Sam, you have sky-high expectations from birth, because your name LITERALLY means "asked of God."
13. So basically, you have to take over the world to be a successful Sam. But you know what...WE'RE MORE THAN READY FOR IT.
