What If Marriage Really Isn’t For You?

And that’s OK. In response to this post.

1. A lot of people sharing this article apparently believe that being selfless is the only way to exist. But that, like, isn’t true at all.

Marriage is definitely not about being the most perfect and selfless person in the world. Marriage just might not be for you, and it’s time to accept that about yourself.

This isn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s more than OK if you don’t feel like getting married ever.

Maybe you leave your dirty socks all over the place and you don’t want to subject another human to that life forever. Maybe you just don’t want to be tied to one person for the rest of your life.

2. And even if you do want to get married, marriage is about more than just the person you married.

Yes, by all means, marriage is about creating a happy and healthy life with another person. But do you know what happens if you start to forget about making yourself happy? No one is happy.

Marriage shouldn’t be the act of forgetting yourself. If you forget your sense of self, then you might as well never have been married in the first place.

3. Don’t assume that you need to be married in your life ever.

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to marry them. Are you kidding? Do you know how many more weddings you’d have to attend if everyone married each person they loved?

Please do fall in love, but don’t feel bad if it never carries through into a marriage. Don’t even feel bad if you don’t think you can actually love someone. Because then marriage just isn’t for you.

4. It’s also OK to stop loving someone.

GROSS METAPHOR ALERT: Feelings are like the ocean: deep, terrifying, unknown, and ever-changing. Don’t feel ashamed if you don’t feel the same after some time. You’re allowed to feel anything you want — that’s the whole point of feeling.

You’re not a terrible person if you’re worried about your own feelings, and you shouldn’t be vilified for needing to take care of yourself every once in a while.

5. Marriage isn’t for you.

And it isn’t for the other person, either. It’s for the two of you as a team. If you want to love each other, love each other.

If you don’t want to get married, then don’t.

It’s, like, pretty simple.

6. Also, no one cares if you get married…

7. …but if you do, you can make it work to the best of your ability!

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