2. Too bad for you because you’re planning on repping the Sobriety Society tonight.
5. But never fear! Here are 13 ways you can easily survive a party without drinking a drop!
6. 1. Get your drink yourself.
Easy enough. If you don’t want to drink at a party, don’t let someone get something for you.
(Also, unless this is a gathering of only people you know very well, always get your own drink 24/7 anyways.)
7. 2. When you do get something to drink at a party, put it in a cup that looks like everyone else’s and save yourself more trouble.
If one of your drunk friends sees you with some sort of “abnormal” or “different” or “weird” drinking device, then they will call it out and point and laugh at you. Just try to blend in as much as possible.
8. 3. Bring your own mixers! It’s both polite to the host of the party, and it makes sure you’ll have something special to drink.
Some people only drink water at a party, and that is perfectly fine and very healthy. But what if you want to enjoy some Sprite or cranberry juice without feeling guilty that you’re stealing it from the “real” partygoers? Bring it yourself!
Bonus points if you bring it and hide it somewhere; take home the leftovers and no one’s the wiser.
9. 4. Don’t, like, announce the fact that you’re not drinking to the entire party.
First of all, deep down no one cares. Secondly, whether you’re choosing not to drink for this one time or if you habitually abstain from the activity, there’s no need to broadcast what’s up. Just keep it to yourself, and no one gets hurt!
10. 5. Host the party yourself so you can make a really fun non-alcoholic beverage!
Think of all the fruity lemonades or delicious sodas you can make that taste super artisanal with Z E R O alcohol! Keeping the party at your place is one of the easiest ways to make sure your needs are taken care of.
11. 6. And if you do host the party, make the focus of it something other than “drink until you hate yourself.”
Movie nights! Board game nights! Murder mysteries! There are a million other things to do at parties that are not drinking.
Tell people it’s BYOB. They can drink if they want, but if there’s plenty of other things to do (that people won’t feel like they “have” to be drunk in order to accomplish), they won’t even care that you’re not drinking.
12. 7. Is there a beer pong room/basement? Do not go into the beer pong room/basement.
Avoid the temptation, dude. There’s a reason there are specific rooms for specific drinking: it should stay in that room. Stay outta that dark space because that’s one place you KNOW people will be drinking.
13. 8. Maybe you have a really convincing headache/tired face and now is the time to use it.
So what if people already use the ol’ “I have a headache” or “I’ve got an early day tomorrow” or “I need to catch up on some rest” excuses to get out of a party? All of those can be very legitimate reasons for not chugging anything ever.
It doesn’t mean you have to leave earlier than you normally would, it just means people should understand why you’re taking it easy.
14. 9. Take a permanent marker and write “HARD” on the label of anything you’re drinking.
Now you can enjoy an Arizona HARD iced tea, a Mott’s HARD apple juice or a refreshing HARD Yoohoo.
Besides, if people are drunk enough, they won’t even notice that you’re not drinking.
15. 10. Give yourself a curfew.
Create a maximum amount of time that you want to spend at the party, and stick to it. Staying until 4 a.m. may not be the smartest idea because the longer you stay, the more opportunity you have to get bored and start drinking.
Set a responsibility timer and follow it!
16. 11. Bring a buddy who also won’t be drinking that night!
The Buddy System works for a reason, folks. Make sure it’s someone you can trust, and you two can take the night by storm! There’s safety and power in numbers.
17. 12. Try focusing on the conversation instead!
Everyone hates making smalltalk, but that’s ok because everyone hates it.
If you’re a more outgoing person, use this party to meet new people and really start to get to know them. If you’re more on the quiet side, stick to the people you already know, and use this opportunity to find out facts you didn’t already know about them.
18. 13. SNACKS.
There’s this glorious thing called “snacks.” Most good parties will have something to nosh on, whether it be chips or veggies or actual real catered-type fancy food.
Stick around the food. People will need to refuel their drunken bodies, so you’ll still get to talk to people. Plus, if you make a dish and bring it to the party, that’s a great way to introduce yourself to all the people who eat it.
Also, it’s probably way better than the food you eat when you’re drunk anyways, right?