2. Read along with it here, thanks to Vulture:
Vanessa: Ugh, dammit. That is so goddamn disappointing, Louie.
Louie, you know what the meanest thing is you can say to a fat girl? “You’re not fat.” I mean, come on, buddy. It just sucks. It really really sucks. You have no idea. And the worst part is, I’m not even supposed to do this. Tell anyone how bad it sucks, because it’s too much for people. I mean, you, you can talk into the microphone and say you can’t get a date, you’re overweight. It’s adorable. But if I say it, they call the suicide hotline on me.
I mean, can I just say it? I’m fat. It sucks to be a fat girl. Can people just let me say it? It sucks. It really sucks. And I’m going to go ahead and say it. It’s your fault.
Look, I really like you, you’re truly a good guy, I think. I’m so sorry. I’m picking you. On behalf of all the fat girls, I’m making you represent all the guys. Why do you hate us so much? What is is about the basics of human happiness, feeling attractive, feeling loved, having guys chase after us, that’s just not in the cards for us? Nope. Not for us.
How is that fair? And why am I supposed to just accept it?
Louie: You know, Vanessa, you’re a very, really beautiful—
Vanessa: If I was a very, really beautiful, then you would have said yes when I asked you out. I mean, come on, Louie, be honest here. You know what’s funny? I flirt with guys all the time. And I mean the great looking ones, the really high-caliber studs? They flirt right back, no problem. Because they know their status will never be questioned. But guys like you never flirt with me, because you get scared that maybe you should be with a girl like me.
And why not? You know, if you were standing over there looking at us, you know what you’d see? That we totally match. We’re actually a great couple together. And yet, you would never date a girl like me. Have you ever dated a girl that was heavier than you? Have you?
Louie: Yes I have, yes I have.
Vanessa: No no no, I didn’t say have you ever fucked a fat girl, Louie. I’m sure you have. Every guy has. I mean, when I met you, if I had said, “Hey, do you want to go to the bathroom and screw on a big can of peaches?” you would have gone for it. No, I’m saying, have you ever dated a fat girl. Have you ever kissed a fat girl? Have you ever wooed a fat girl? Have you ever held hands with a fat girl? Have you ever walked down the street in the light of day, holding hands, with a big girl like me?
Go ahead. Hold my hand. What do you think is going to happen? You think your dick is going to fall off if you hold hands with a fat girl? You know what the sad thing is? It’s all I want. I mean, I can get laid. Any woman who is willing can get laid. I don’t want that. I don’t even need a boyfriend or a husband. All I want is to hold hands with a nice guy, and walk and talk —
3. Sarah Baker was also interviewed by Vulture about the powerful scene.
Vulture: So you auditioned with the speech at the end?
Sarah: Yeah. I sat in this little room and read it and I just thought it was so brave and really beautiful and a little bit scary. I also thought, wow, Louis wrote this and yet he’s given himself the part of the guy who doesn’t totally get it and is surprised by this turn of events. He’s the one who had all these amazing insights into what is a women’s issue for the most part.
Vulture: That last scene is basically one uninterrupted seven-minute take. What kind of notes did Louis have?
Sarah: It was important to him that it not feel like Vanessa was like balling Louis out. She likes him. That’s why they’re there. She sees something in him, the same way we all sit at home and see this tenderness between them. But this is something she’s encountered before with guys, and she sees how ridiculous it is and wants him to understand that it’s difficult.
He also said it shouldn’t feel like a speech that she’s prepared. This is all happening in this moment. It’s a conversation, and these are things that are just coming to her. It’s not like she hasn’t thought them before, of course she has, but they’re all sort of spilling out right in front of him. And I think she sees, like she says, that Louis is a good person and she sees that vulnerability in him, and that she can share these things with someone like him, and that he will get it.
Vulture: What do you remember about filming it?
Sarah: I mean, it was crazy. I basically worked two days and I was in every scene in those two days, so it was a lot of work and not a lot of time in between to think about things. In a way, that’s good because it’s less time to worry about everything. The speech was the last thing we shot on the second day.
It sounds so trite, because as an actor a lot of times people will say, “Is it hard to memorize all the lines?” and there’s so much more to it than that. But in this case I was like, Holy crap. There are so many words that have to come out of my mouth. Beautiful, important words, and I’m saying them to the person who wrote them, so I want to make sure I get it right. I was just terrified.
Once we got it all out once, the whole thing, I was like, Oh! Okay, I know it! Thank God. Louis was so nice. He knew it was a lot. He was like, “That’s great. We have it once, so now if that’s all we did, if the cops came right now and the cops made us go away, that would be fine. We have it.” That made me feel like, OK, now we can sort of play with it. And we did. But in the end, he had to just pick his one favorite take out of all the takes we did and use the whole thing.