84 Thoughts Everyone Has While Playing That 2048 Game

THIS IS THE GAME THAT NEVER ENDS, AND WE JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT.

1. Oh, this looks pretty.
2. I like the colors!
3. Thank goodness I can just use the arrow keys. That actually makes this way easier.
4. Uh oh.
5. This is going fast.
6. Too fast.
7. Wait, why aren’t the numbers going where I want them to be going?
8. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME??!
9. Oh, OK, some combined.
10. This’ll all be OK.
11. I’m starting to hate numbers.
12. And squares.

13. Maybe if I try going in other directions…
14. OH. NOPE. EVERYTHING GOT WORSE.
15. COOL.
16. How did I get here?
17. Who led me to this wasteland of a website?
18. THE COLORS ARE SO CALMING, YET I AM NOT CALM AT ALL.
19. I literally despise whoever sent me this stupid link.
20. This is my life now. This is what I’ll be doing forever.
21. My headstone will read: “THEY DIED DOING WHAT THEY LOVE.”
22. Only I don’t love it.
23. That’s a lie. I do love it.
24. But I also, like, feel supremely frustrated by this.

25. Am I supposed to do this forever?
26. I WANT THIS TO END.
27. I NEVER WANT THIS TO END.
28. It’s like I hate math more now than I ever did before, but I’m not even actively doing it?
29. At least these are all even numbers.
30. Lord knows I would burn this place if ugly numbers were involved.
31. Speaking of ugly, I wonder if my face will just get stuck this way.
32. I’m sure it’s not cute because I’ve been too focused on being ANGRY AT THIS GAME.
33. What if my soulmate has walked past me in the last six minutes, but I’ve been too upset to look approachable?
34. LOVE BE DAMNED, I MUST CONQUER THIS GAME.
35. HOW COME THIS SENDS ME A 4 WHEN I DON’T NEED A GOD DAMN 4.
36. When did I become this person?

37. How long have I even been playing?
38. Oh, literally not that long.
39. It feels like an eternity.
40. Good thing I’m comfortable.
41. Can I snack while I play this?
42. WAIT, THIS ISN’T TIMED??
43. I CAN STOP FOR A BIT AND COME BACK WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT?
44. I’m already here though, so like, guess I’ll just be here playing for a while. No need to take a break.
45. Am I blinking?
46. Sure wish I could see what Hulu was playing in the other tab. Guess I’ll never find out.
47. I should order food.
48. I should order food and have it delivered directly into my face, because I’m no longer capable of getting out of this seat.

49. The numbers are moving SO FAST.
50. Oh, right, I’m the one moving the numbers that fast.
51. Which means this is all my fault.
52. OH GOD THE ENTIRE BOX IS FULL.
53. Phew.
54. That was close.
55. I wish I were dead.
56. This feels like a stressful eternity.
57. I AM A FOOL.
58. THOSE NUMBERS COULD’VE BEEN COMBINED LIKE A DOZEN MOVES AGO.
59. I AM AN IDIOT, I GUESS.
60. THAT’S WHAT THIS PROCESS HAS TAUGHT ME.

61. My headstone will read: “COULDN’T RECOGNIZE BASIC NUMBER PATTERNS.”
62. Also, “HATED MATH.”
63. When does this end?
64. I’m technically in control here.
65. I can totally stop playing whenever I damn well feel like it.
66. Maybe just, like, five more minutes though.
67. Since I’m already here and stuff.
68. No biggie.
69. Because I’m in complete control, really.
70. This is totally normal behavior.
71. I LOVE YELLING AT NUMBERS.
72. YES. COMBINE, YOU FOOLS, COMBINE.

73. I AM THE MASTER OF NUMBERS.
74. Oh goddamn it.
75. No no no get out of that corner get out this is so bad.
76. Is this the end?
77. When did I last use the bathroom?
78. Do my legs still work?
79. I bet I have no friends anymore.
80. There’s no way we all survived this.
81. It’s like a terrible, math-based apocalypse of friendship and overall hope.
82. There should be a lesson in all of this, right?
83. Or was this just all for nothing?
84. I guess I can play one more round…

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