1. You can feel loud music in your bones and soul, and it hurts you deeply.
2. There is a certain time you need to be home, so that you can watch your stories on TV and get a good night’s sleep.
3. Weekends are for errands and chores, not drinking and partying!
4. You’ve begun to unnecessarily tell people only slightly younger than you about “back in my day.”
5. You’re not totally sure what’s popular on TV anymore, but you definitely know the Bravo schedule.
Do kids like The Voice or American Idol more, and which one does Ryan Secrets (is that his name what is his name the one with the hair) host?
6. You only wear comfortable pants and shoes because WHY IN THE WORLD would you wear anything else?
7. Enjoying a soothing cup of hot tea before bed is now a part of your ritual.
8. Complaining about how early holidays start showing up in stores should be ON YOUR FREAKING RÉSUMÉ.
THE CHRISTMAS CREEP IS REAL AND YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE/VALIDATED MAKING YOUR OPINION KNOWN.
9. Even though you’re legally fairly young, you still feel entitled to a seat on the subway because, let’s face it, you deserve it.
10. A blog that plays music automatically ACTIVELY enrages you.
11. Out of all the characters on your favorite TV shows, you probably relate to the grumps more often than not.
12. From babies to the youths, literally everyone annoys you. Every. Single. Person.
13. You’ve completely abandoned the common courtesy of “smiling at passersby on the sidewalk.”
14. At this point, you could practically be an appraiser on Antiques Roadshow.
GOING ANTIQUING IS LIKE ADVENTURING INTO THE PAST.
15. The sweetness of your coffee is directly related to your current outlook on life.
16. Even the TINIEST IDEA of traveling anywhere immediately exhausts you.
17. The idea of picking up the art of couponing both intrigues and delights you.
18. Discussing all of your dinner options with your pet is normal, guys, totally normal.
19. If someone sends you a message or email with a typo in it, you will literally never reply to them.
20. Is there a marathon of absolutely anything on Food Network? YOU ARE WATCHING IT.
21. You feel fine unfollowing/unfriending people because you don’t need them to like you.
- And watch a man react to the modern world after spending 44 years in prison. ›