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So You Wanna Be The DJ For A Nu Metal Band

Every good nu metal band needs a DJ to randomly scratch a record for no reason during the verses of their songs.

1. First up, get a lot of stuff you’ll never use and surround yourself with it.

2. Make sure it LOOKS like you’re doing a lot of cool DJ stuff though.

4. Fashion for a nu metal DJ is important.

5. It should be instantly clear by your appearance that you’re a piece of shit.

6. Looking great! I hate you.

7. In band photos always try to look like someone just ruined the end of ‘The Hunger Games’ for you.

8. “…But—but I loved Prim!”

9. “Dude, you knew I was Team Gale.”

10. You’ll have plenty of time to mess around with funky hairstyles while you’re not doing anything important musically.

12. Oh wow, you look like a Slim Jim guy!

14. And lastly, above all else, have fun with it!

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