Half-Naked Fraternity Invitation Features Sexy, Sexy Flag Desecration
The University Of Michigan’s Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity has caused a bit of a stir on campus after sending out this invite to their “America Party.”
Similar to the controversy around the Asian-themed Duke University party invite that spread online earlier this month, the fraternity didn’t expect the invite to leak to other students. Brobible got in touch with the social chair of the fraternity who told them that they were only trying to “create a buzz with the pictures.” Also, many students weren’t exactly thrilled getting an email with the subject “Cute Puppies, Organic Gourmet, High Fashion, and How to Make Him Eat Your Box (aka URGENT!!!!)” and a photo of semi-nude frat brothers.
4. Here’s the leaked email in full that accompanied the photo:
Subject: Cute Puppies, Organic Gourmet, High Fashion, and How to Make Him Eat Your Box (aka URGENT!!!!)
Patriettes,
Do you love your homeland? We at Pike sure do. We read Whitman’s poems by our fireplace and pour maple syrup on our apple pie. We hold Alexander Hamilton’s belief that keg stands are not “a feat, but an expectation.” We recognize His benevolence in bestowing upon us His great and Holy game of Football, and one of our sophomores drives a pick-up truck. We exercise our 4th amendment right to drink beer through any orifice we want. We paddle pledges because it’s a comprehensive upper body workout. We invoke imagery of James Madison to describe particularly attractive females. And because the effort to throw our parties is entirely our own, we see to it that the grand majority of our peers remain uninvited, and presumably underemployed with little to no health benefits.
What is America? America is a place where drinking until you puke means drinking until you win. America invented the blunt. And LSD. America is disregarding next week’s midterms because Kamchatka doesn’t drink itself. America does not let the bartender cut her off. America. America is the love child of 2 Chainz, Kate Upton, and Tim Tebow. America is the Doritos Locos taco and Mountain Dew Baja Blast. America is John Wayne and Ice Cube and Ronald Reagan and Andrew Carnegie. America. America is the Louisiana Purchase and defending The Alamo. America gave the world Hostess and then pioneered the capital management metrics which shut that shit down. America is losing legs in ‘Nam and hazing terrorists in Abu Gharib. America invented the condom, and promptly outlawed it. America.
If the preceding two paragraphs didn’t excite you at all, I suggest that you stay alert for a forthcoming drone attack, you terrorist whore. If, however, you count yourself a red-blooded, God-fearing American girl who has a specific spring-time gym routine to accommodate her summer-time jean shorts, come to Pike this Friday night around 10:00. (Be fashionably late. That’s America.) Wear your most patriotic threads as we celebrate this great country together.
Need some outfit ideas? A few of us created an inspirational piece with some possible suggestions. Trim fingernails before viewing.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/93159884@N05/8470987382/sizes/k/in/photostream/
Redistribution prohibited without expressed written consent of WangTown Photography, LLC. (Copyright 2013)
Through the night with a light from above,
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ytumadretambien 2 months agothis email is one of the best epistolary essays i’ve ever read.
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petitestephi 2 months agoOh Pike… as if they didn’t get enough shit on tfm. Damn Greek life is so annoying
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