The 23 Stages Of Falling In Love On The Tube

This is the Northern Line. Calling at all stations via heartbreak.

1. You know how it is. You drag yourself from bed. Sleep walk to the train station. Before getting stuck behind the slowest walkers in the world.

2. There are inevitably delays.

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3. And when you finally get on a train there are never any seats.

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4. Eventually someone gets up from their seat. No one is going to stop you from getting it!

5. You’ve never felt more smug.

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6. But just as you’re about to treat yourself to a morning nap…

7. …you look up.

8. You’re in love.

9. Within seconds you’ve imagined your first holiday.

11. And have named your children.

12. After checking your appearance in the window…

13. …you try to establish eye contact.

14. And follow it up with a reassuring smile.

15. Or perhaps a misjudged wink.

16. Of course every now and again you look away to avoid appearing overly creepy. Don’t worry, you totally nailed it.

17. You try to say something. Nothing comes out…

18. You try again, but you genuinely can’t remember how to make sounds.

19. You’re so focused on your tube crush that you miss your stop.

20. Eventually they get off. Throwing your dignity out of the window you panic and say goodbye.

21. To which the usual response is…

22. Your heart is broken. You’ll probably never love again.

23. Well, not until the tube ride home…

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