22 Surefire Ways To Spot A London Newbie

Don’t be too hard on them. It was you, once.

1. They try to pay for a copy of Time Out.

ID: 1584882

2. They think pressing this button will actually open the door.

ID: 1584946

3. They stand on the left.

ID: 1586701

4. But they soon learn not to.

ID: 1584950

5. They get the tube when walking would be quicker.

This alternative tube map shows journeys where walking is actually quicker than getting the underground.

ID: 1585192

6. They end up at the wrong Abbey Road.

ID: 1585194

7. “I know this great little restaurant, we should go some time.”

ID: 1585210

8. They actually try talking to people they don’t know.


ID: 1585223

9. They giggle at this.

OK, so maybe this one never goes away.

ID: 1585225

10. They think going to Borough Market on a Saturday is a good idea.

ID: 1586699

11. They think going to Infernos on any day is a good idea.

ID: 1586705

12. When their friends suggest online dating they freak out and think it’s only for losers.

ID: 1586709

13. They still trust TfL’s journey planner.

ID: 1586715

14. They suggest that they might try to get on the property ladder.

ID: 1586716

15. They try smiling at strangers on the tube.

ID: 1586718

16. Again, they soon learn not to.

ID: 1586717

17. They think they’ll leave work at five o’clock.

ID: 1586723

18. They still find the living statues in Covent Garden amusing.

ID: 1586861

19. They try to pay for the bus with cash.

ID: 1586742

20. You go for drinks and they suggest meeting at Leicester Square.

ID: 1586729

21. They claim they’re only in London for a few years, before moving out of the city or travelling the world.

ID: 1586845

22. But we know that after a few months London will have them, and it won’t let go.

ID: 1586731

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Robin Edds is special projects editor at BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.
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