2. It makes sense to spend more than £8 on a bottle of wine.
3. You will not find your true love on the dance floor at 2 a.m.
7. But remain the best parties of the year.
8. There are other ways to communicate with your friends than social media. Like speaking on the phone. Or even meeting them in person.
11. Going out is generally a great big waste of money.
12. Being so drunk you don’t know your own name is not attractive to the opposite sex.
14. Without a hangover they can actually be quite productive.
17. You can still laugh about them in private but endlessly quoting film and TV quotes really isn’t cool anymore.
18. Being hungover on a Monday is not cool. It’s hell on earth.
21. You are not missing out on anything by going to bed before midnight.
Seriously, just go to bed.