1. Everyone dresses like they did at uni, which is like a 50-year-old member of the landed gentry.
6. You have spent more Sundays and Bank Holidays here than you care to remember
7. You know where the local Whole Foods is.
8. Your hatred for the District Line is absolute. WHY ARE YOU NEVER ON TIME YOU BASTARD?!?
9. Putney Bridge has some of the best sunrises in London.
10. This Tardis brightens up your day every time you see it.
11. You can get reception on the Tube, but unfortunately everyone sounds like this.
13. You hear this from everyone you ever met – “Ohh that’s miles away.”
14. But this is what it feels like being invited out somewhere “trendy” in east/north London.
15. You are continually gratefully for that toilet at Fulham Broadway. 30p well spent.
16. Richmond Park is only place you can truly escape in a city of 8 million.
17. … you just have to share it with a thousand cyclists.
18. Waitrose is always your first choice for the food shop.
Then M&S. Then Sainsbury’s.
21. Even if you like football you loathe every single Chelsea fan that has ever travelled to Stamford Bridge – YOU ARE PREVENTING ME FROM GETTING HOME AND WATCHING MASTER CHEF. I HATE YOU.
22. Too many nights have ended here…
Next to Embargo (in case you don’t recognise it in daylight).