1. One of your closest friends tells you he wants you to be his best man on the most important day of his life.
It’s an awesome moment.
2. Things get pretty emotional for a while.
3. Then you realise the job is not simply a prize-giving ceremony for being the best friend in the world and may involve some work.
4. First up: Start planning the stag do, and whether or not to dress the groom up like a massive penis.
5. Months and months in advance, you get told loads of wedding preparation stuff you’re supposed to remember so you can help on the big day.
You tend to just nod enthusiastically and focus on the more important tasks at hand…
6. … Like what colour mankini to get him.
8. Or this.
9. Of course, if anyone asks if you have anything inappropriate planned for the stag do and the speech, you laugh it off.
11. When it comes to actually writing the damn speech though, you don’t know where to start.
12. In your mind it should be a combination of this:
13. And this:
14. On the big day you’re tasked with making sure everyone is having the best time possible.
15. And that everything and everybody is where they should be.
16. You quote this scene from Old School all morning, thinking everyone will find it hilarious.
No one does.