30 Stages Everyone Goes Through During After-Work Drinks

“This is hands down the most drunk I have ever been.”

1. Someone suggests going for a drink after work and your initial reaction is – NO.

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“It’s Thursday and I’m going out Friday so I don’t really want to drink tonight as well.”

2. “OK I’ll go. But just for ONE.”

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3. It’s 5:01pm and you’re in the pub and it’s all a bit awkward.

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4. There are certain people you really don’t want to be stuck talking to.

5. And some you are still too shy to talk to.

6. Your one drink soon turns into two as you somehow end up in a round.

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7. You decide that actually this isn’t so bad and start settling into an enjoyable conversation bitching about your boss and why you hate certain mutual enemies in the office so much.

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8. You think you might be a bit hungry.

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9. A few more drinks in, you think maybe you’ll leave soon. But then you look at your watch and realise it’s only 6:30pm. Result!

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10. However, the time is deceptive as you’re on your fifth drink and didn’t have a proper lunch.

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11. The pub is full now, even the late finishers are in for a drink. Meaning you have now joined about three different rounds.

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12. Someone then makes the sensational decision to buy some crisps.

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13. The conversation starts to flow far too easily at this point, you start sharing your opinions on EVERYTHING and demanding everyone tells you their gossip.

14. The drinking starts to become a bit ridiculous.

15. At 8:30pm someone asks if you’re getting food in the pub, you respond that you’ll be leaving soon so there’s no point.

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16. STOP EVERYTHING. Your office crush is here.

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17. However, they’re chatting with that blonde from sales. FUCK THIS!

19. Drunk levels are now dangerously high.

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20. You start saying things you really shouldn’t to work colleagues.

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21. Someone has ordered chips and you discreetly steal most of them while pretending to be interested in whatever they’re wittering on about.

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22. Sensibly people start to leave, citing the fact they have to be at work early tomorrow – a concept now completely lost on you.

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23. Dancing and singing with colleagues has become the order of the day.

24. Suddenly it’s 11pm and the pub is kicking out. “Crap, I didn’t mean to stay out this long.”

25. You spy your favourite fast food restaurant on the way home and eat almost everything on the menu.

26. You get home and despite it being gone midnight decide now is the best time to watch the next episode of Californication on Netflix – being drunk is cool.

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27. You then wake up on the sofa in all your clothes at 4am.

28. You stumble into bed but your alarm goes off literally seconds later.

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29. You are immediately filled with dread as you can’t remember exactly what you said and did the night before.

30. The next day you are the best employee EVER, working the hardest you’ve ever worked and avoiding eye contact with everyone.

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Until someone asks: “Fancy a quick drink after work..?”

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