25 Problems Only People Who Don’t Drink Beer Will Understand

No, I don’t drink beer. Yes, it sucks big time.

1. Not everyone likes drinking beer. The rest of humanity finds this weird.

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2. “If it’s good enough for Luke Skywalker, why the hell isn’t it good enough for you?”

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3. It turns out there are quite a few problems with not being keen on doing this:

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4. You ruin every round. “Ummm, actually, can I get a glass of the house red…?”

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5. Downing drinks is tricky.

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6. You never get to look this cool.

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7. Or as cool as Bob Hawke, the 84-year-old former prime minister of Australia.

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8. He just loves downing beer.

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9. You can’t have a nice cold beer on a summer afternoon.

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10. Instead you go for cider, which usually tastes like piss.

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11. Unfortunately, nothing is as refreshing as beer.

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12. Everyone looks at you slightly oddly when you hit the hard stuff early to avoid drinking beer.

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13. And it gets really boring explaining why you don’t want a pint.

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14. You get unnecessarily angry at the pub’s poor selection of wines.

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15. You also react rather too enthusiastically when you find someone else not drinking beer.

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16. For some reason giving up beer makes you feel very old, very quickly.

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17. Trying to drink wine at the same pace as people drinking beer can get very messy.

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18. You tend to overcompensate.

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19. The simple fact of the matter is a pint is the best measure of any drink.

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20. You really struggle when someone very kindly buys you a drink, but it turns out to be a beer.

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21. Beer is the only beverage worth considering at sports events. In saying no, you feel like this guy:

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22. You can’t even enjoy wrestling properly.

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23. You tend to get a bit oversensitive when you go round to someone’s house and all they have to drink is beer.

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24. So for you, instead of beer, sophistication is the name of the game.

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25. Stay classy.

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Richard James is the UK news editor for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
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