The 26 Greatest Joys And Struggles Of Being A Late-Night Person

You’ll sleep when you’re dead. Maybe.

1. Growing up, you were the last to fall asleep at sleepovers.

Disney / Via
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2. And now, you’re restlessly awake for hours after your significant other has fallen asleep next to you.

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3. You have friends in other timezones to keep you company when everyone around you is fast asleep.

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4. You schedule emails to send later so your boss* won’t judge you for working at 4 a.m.

*And colleagues, and professors, and friends, and parents.

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5. You work all day, but don’t really get anything done until you’re alone in the dead of night.

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6. If you have roommates, you spend your prime working hours tiptoeing and typing as quietly as possible.

ID: 2896244

7. You know every 24-hour store and restaurant in your neighborhood.

ID: 2896251

8. And the late-night food delivery men know you by name.

ID: 2896264

9. Your innocuous texts come across as drunk booty texts just by virtue of being sent at 3 a.m.

Jen Lewis / Via
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10. Getting in bed early doesn’t mean getting more sleep. It means angrily tossing and turning for a few hours.

ID: 2896320

11. People constantly ask you why you’re up so late, and you don’t know what to say.

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Also: “Do you ever sleep?”

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And: “Wow, you’re literally a vampire.”

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12. Your friends are always tired and ready to go home when you’re just starting to have fun.

ID: 2896407

13. But if they ever make early plans, you’re definitely the last to show up.

Brunch at noon? How about 3 p.m. instead?

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14. Seriously. Everything about waking up in the morning sucks. Fuck alarms and sunrise and birds chirping.

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15. People are always giving you well-meaning advice on how to fall asleep earlier.

And, out of desperation, you’ve tried almost all of it.

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16. Your parents have always been on your case about not sleeping enough.

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17. And, over the years, you’ve figured out ways to hide it from them.

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18. You come up with your best ideas at night.

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19. And wake up to a bunch of barely comprehensible notes and self-emails to remind yourself of them.

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20. You’ve seen (and Instagrammed) a lot of sunrises.

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21. Waking up early for school/work means you almost never get more than four hours of sleep during the week.

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22. But you make sure to catch up on it by sleeping 12-plus hours on the weekend.

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23. Your special skills include: binge-watching terrible TV shows…

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Snacking silently in bed…

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And mindlessly scrolling down Reddit/Tumblr/Twitter for hours.

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24. Of course, you’re totally and completely useless in the morning, and need a gallon of coffee to get through the day.

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25. But it’s all worth it for your hours of peace and quiet solace in the dark…

ID: 2896682

26. Hidden away from the world, and all of its insufferable diurnal people.

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