33 Untold Truths That Writers Know Too Well

For starters, you’re probably ambivalent about “listicles.”

1. This is both the most exciting and the most terrifying sight in the world.

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2. Because Writer’s Block is a real thing and there is nothing worse than it.

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3. You’ve resigned yourself to a life of abject poverty.

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4. While secretly holding on hope that you’ll be the next billionaire author. There is no middle ground.

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5. You dread being asked what you do, because saying you’re a writer always elicits interesting reactions.

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6. Your friends all send you their papers* to edit.

*And cover letters. And emails. And basically anything that involves words.

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7. You process all your experiences by writing extensively about them.

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8. Which means all your significant others’ email inboxes are repositories of your best works.

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9. And all your feelings are also available for public viewing somewhere on the internet.

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10. Because at some point early on, you forsook your privacy for your career.

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11. You know that there are good words and then there are bad words…

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12. You involuntarily copyedit people as they speak, and make character judgments based on grammar.

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13. You’re constantly torn between wanting to self-promote… And not wanting to be that guy.

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14. You carry around a notebook full of bizarre observations…

Or the “Notes” app on your phone is overflowing with quotes and ideas.

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15. You have a love-hate relationship with hashtags.

New literary form, or bastardization of conventional sentence-structure?

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16. Your sleep schedule is at the whim of your writing urge. If inspiration strikes at 4 a.m., too bad, no sleep for you.

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17. Which generally means that you look your worst when you write your best.

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18. Your constant pursuit of new writing material means you’re occasionally masochistic and self-destructive.

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19. Your friends are used to your constantly asking them weird and personal questions. They’re characters, after all.

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20. Misused semicolons make you want to die; like now.

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21. Your parents regularly ask you, very politely, if you’re absolutely certain that you don’t want to do something more lucrative.

So, as a compromise, you briefly considered working in advertising. Briefly.

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22. Your taste in music is determined primarily by the quality of the lyrics.

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23. You get incomparable joy from successfully using the Rule of Threes.

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Rivalled only by the joy you get from successfully subverting it.

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24. You have a special list of people to whom you send your works for feedback.

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Knowing that they’re only as annoyed as they are flattered.

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25. You simultaneously envy and disdain peers who aren’t turning their hobbies into careers.

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Disdain because they’re doing it to make money. Envy because they’re making money.

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26. You’re a tad dramatic because you can’t help but see your life as a story, with heroes and villains and motives and drama.

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27. You can’t remember the last time you weren’t “working on a book.”

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28. (Even if some undertakings have been regrettable in hindsight.)

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29. Despite having written zero words of it, you already have a working title for your autobiography.

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30. You’re extremely used to criticism, from friends and family and mostly from strangers.

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31. But all the second-guessing and creative angst is worth it when you bust out a perfect paragraph.

(c) 2013 Debbie Ridpath Ohi / Via christicorbett.wordpress.com
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32. And when your masterpiece is finally done, whether that’s next week or 50 years from now, you know it’ll take the world by storm.

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33. And if all else fails, well… At least we’ll always have the internet.

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