1. You only sign up for classes with the most lenient attendance policies.
2. Because you know you're an expert at finding excuses not to go.
3. You only ever do as much homework as you absolutely need to.
4. You're a pro at starting twenty-page papers the night before they're due.
5. And even then, you end up procrastinating until 4am.
6. When you finally do turn in a paper, it has 3 inch margins.
7. You routinely walk into the wrong classroom.
8. So it's a good thing you have no qualms about walking out whenever you want.
9. If you do find yourself sitting in class, you're busy with Candy Crush/Temple Run.
10. Never, ever, ever, even in your wildest nightmares, would you sign up for a Friday class.
11. You have only the vaguest understanding of how to get around your college library.
12. When people tell you about the all-nighters they've spent there, you can't imagine what they must do there.
13. You go out every night from Wednesday to Sunday.
14. So you've mastered the art of hangover chic.
15. Group project (noun): When four other people do your homework for you, and you occasionally nod in agreement.
16. "Required reading" is your favorite oxymoron. "Attendance mandatory" is a close second.
17. You're always the first in the room to finish any midterm or final exam.
18. You're a seasoned veteran of the back row.
19. You're an expert at writing scholarly papers about books you don't even own, let alone read.
20. You're in an exclusive relationship with the snooze button on your alarm.
21. You're fascinated by anyone who says they can't go out because they have to "stay in to work."
22. Office hours? More like office yours, nap-time mine.
23. If you'd been allowed to major in procrastination, you'd graduate Cum Laude.
24. When your friends complain about being stressed, you genuinely can't empathize.
25. You sometimes wonder if your nonexistent work ethic will come back to bite you in the ass someday...
26. Or if you should be concerned that reading this list has taken up your entire reading quota for the week...
27. Oh, well. No time to dwell. There are video-games to be played, after all, and there are naps to be taken.
