1.
You know there's no question scarier than this one:
2.
And you have your answer rehearsed to perfection.
3.
But you must reek of panic and fear because everyone somehow finds out anyway.
4.
And then, despite your protests, THEY INSIST ON TORTURING YOU.
5.
You've tried to "mind over matter" your way into keeping a straight face but you always cave.
6.
You get tickled at the very sight of wiggling fingers. No touch required for this particular breed of sadism.
7.
Nobody understands that while you're laughing on the outside, you're actually in immense agony.
8.
And you can't be held responsible for all the screaming and punching and kicking that may ensue.
9.
Seriously. Tickle at your own god damn risk. Not paying hospital bills for any broken noses later.
10.
All your romantic relationships have two distinct phases: Before your S.O. knows you're ticklish, and after they find out.
11.
Once they're armed with this knowledge, they have this one upper hand over you for eternity.
12.
When you're feeling particularly tickle-sensitive, any human touch can undo you.
13.
And nothing is more infuriating than someone who refuses to stop despite your shrieking.
14.
You may involuntary cause some bodily harm to your attackers, who are always shocked by it.
15.
Even strangers can wreck you. Pedicures and massages double as exercises in brain-melting self-control.
16.
Basically, the entire world is an obstacle course of things that can crack you up a.k.a. torture you.
17.
But, hey. At least you have incredible reflexes and self-defense skills, right?
