This Is The Least Romantic Valentine’s Day Gift You Can Possibly Give
Edible Arrangements say, “I don’t even care enough to carve pineapple hearts for you with my own two hands.”
1. Guess which veteran purveyor of meticulously carved fruit shapes is ready and waiting to help you woo your valentine? Yes, it’s Edible Arrangements!
You can even chat live with a Fruit Expert! Now THAT’S service.
2. An Edible Arrangement says, “I feel like you might sleep with me if I present you with a vast number of small pineapple hearts.”
3. “These eerily firm grapes symbolize my unswerving, everlasting love for you.”
4. “You could stand to lose a few pounds, so I got you fake cupcakes made of pineapple instead of real cupcakes.”
5. “And then I put them in a container that looks like a fake cake, to remind you that I care about you and don’t want your upper arms to jiggle more than they absolutely have to.”
6. “Nature didn’t make strawberries crunchy enough. YOU are special. YOU deserve to have them coated in awkward sprinkles.”
7. “I think you might be The One, but I have trouble articulating things with words. So I decided to say it with melon kebabs.”
8. Because fruit that resembles a bouquet of microphones gets everyone hot and bothered.
9. And nothing sets the mood like the adoring gaze of a small creepy white bear.
10. With a FREE Balloon Bundle™? EVEN MORE SEDUCTIVE.
11. Listen, lovers: You can do better.
12. You can give real chocolates.
The 21 Best Chocolates To Give Your Valentine
13. You can bake real cupcakes.
21 Valentines Cupcakes That Will Make Your Coworkers Love You
14. Or, if you’re not feeling ambitious, just buy some cookies and make your main hang a sundae.
16 Store-Bought Desserts Dressed Up For Valentine’s Day
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- alel2 thinks This Is The Least Romantic Valentine&... is Fail
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LlaronaYPayasa 3 months agoI’ve never had an Edible Arrangement but guaranteed it’s probably better than the stale, bitter cookie-gram I received a few years ago.
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- SitaSky thinks This Is The Least Romantic Valentine&... is Fail
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- ebeaudin thinks This Is The Least Romantic Valentine&... is Fail
- mxdxh thinks This Is The Least Romantic Valentine&... is SMH
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jessicar14 3 months agoThis is horseshit. Edible Arrangements are great. And those cupcake-pineapple thingies? Delicious. Don’t be hatin’ on fruit, yo.
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- Pack thinks This Is The Least Romantic Valentine&... is LOL
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- AniRayne33 thinks This Is The Least Romantic Valentine&... is Ew, Fail & LOL
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Lolhelper 3 months agoI don’t like to receive flowers, never did, I feel really awkward receiving flowers as a present. And they die so fast :(. So these fruits arrangements look awesome to me, who cares if they’re “just” melons, strawberries or pineapples? They look so pretty and original, I think it’s perfect for a Valentine’s day in hot weather (though we’re in winter now).
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- sabrinal thinks This Is The Least Romantic Valentine&... is Fail
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renhasbrownhair 3 months agoEdible Arrangements are awesome! My stepdad sometimes sends my mom, my sister, or I one just because and we go H.A.M on that fruit. The fruit is juicier and much more delicious than what I can find in the grocery store. None of really enjoy just plain old chocolate and flowers die.
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renhasbrownhair 3 months ago
In my humble opinion, I think the fruit tastes better. It’s juicier and more flavorful than what I can get in the produce department at the grocery store…
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Hylian_Nerd 3 months agoI absolutely love chocolate-covered strawberries. My dad gets them for my mom every year and she loves them! They are absolutely delicious!
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Bozziegirl 3 months agoI like these, I can’t eat flowers or jewelry and eating is my favorite hobby :-D
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Suckapunch 3 months agolol I love the entirely warranted “wtf buzzfeed” replies. Seriously, you aren’t THAT hard up for content, right??
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