No, invading a person’s privacy like that isn’t ok. If you want to keep tabs on her facebook account, tell her that you will check her account once a week or something. Yes, she’ll hate you for it, and will probably be able to hide some of her activities from you, but at least her confidence in you won’t be entirely betrayed. What would you do if you found out your daughter was snooping through your things, your someone else’s? Don’t expect her to learn life lessons when you’re setting such a bad example.

Honestly though, no matter how many times people explain the difference between pansexuality and bisexuality to me, I don’t understand it. I identify as bisexual, but to me that means that attraction doesn’t depend on gender… which is how pansexuality is usually defined.

I always lock the door when I go to the bathroom, even when I’m alone at home. I just do it out of habit. I don’t think it’s that unusual.

Over half of all people have some form of herpes virus, and oral herpes in particular is very, very common. It really isn’t that big of a deal.

Try reading The Ground Beneath Her Feet by Salman Rushdie (or practically any other book by him, I’ve heard). There are individual sentences that run on for several pages.

Well, that was unexpectedly sad. I wish they were really still here.

Really? Over 50s can’t wear cashmere sweaters, blazers or red lipstick? I think everything on this list is pretty much appropriate for all ages. That doesn’t mean everyone would like to wear them though, obviously.

What a sad little boy.

Wow, these are all terrible ideas. Why do you want a weird, boxy lightbulb centrepiece when candles are much prettier? What on earth is the purpose of fake artichokes, and if you must have them, why would you make them out of lightbulbs instead of literally any other thing that’s a sort of vague egg shape? And why, for the love of god, would you wear an object made of fragile glass around your neck?

It isn’t all that surprising to have sugar in tomato sauce, as it’s a good way of offsetting the acidity of the tomatoes. But a lot of this is pretty upsetting.