48 Ways To Make Your Life A Million Times Better

You owe it to yourself to try.

1. Start your day with this book.

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2. Wear what you love.

Don’t forget a snack or seven.

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3. Do your hair.

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4. Or wear a jaunty hat.

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5. Make your money burgle-proof.

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6. Ensure you’re prepped to face the world.

With this DIY garter belt.

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7. Eat breakfast without getting cheese dust on your fingers.

If you don’t think that Cheetos are part of a nutritious and delicious breakfast then we have nothing left to say to each other.

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8. Scramble an egg inside of its own shell.

It’s magical. Watch the video here.

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9. Defeat the monster that is the freezing cold toilet seat.

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10. Take a relaxing bath with a book.

And use a retractable leash to make sure it never falls in again.

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11. Remind yourself how perfect you are.

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12. If you have a baby, make sure he or she is all clean.

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13. And safely ensconced in the best fort of all time.

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14. At work, make this your desktop wallpaper.

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15. Or turn your computer into a Shaquintosh.

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16. Buy something crazy on eBay.

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17. Sit however and wherever you want to sit.

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18. Make up a new screenname.

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19. Enlist the help of a higher power.

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20. Use these words.

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21. Make the most of your job.

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22. Do a little redecorating.

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23. Back home, make over your bathroom.

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24. Attach a car vent air freshener to your AC.

Your place will smell amazing (at least, as amazing as a car air freshener).

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25. Cover your refrigerator in pizza.

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26. Turn your backyard into a comfy oasis.

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27. Velcro your remote controls.

You’ll never lose them again.

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28. Make your cat do all the work.

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29. Or your kids.

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30. Unwind by making a rainbow rose.

Get the directions here.

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31. Or some pornographic perler art.

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32. Jump around.

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33. Take a sassy selfie.

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34. Make an extension cord monster friend.

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35. Replace your queen with the mother of all queens.

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36. Take a nap on a comforting bed of breadsticks.

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37. Fill your fridge with something you love.

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38. Break your diet.

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39. Make a quick and easy dinner.

Just press the hot water button without inserting any pods, and you’ll have the meal of your dorm-room dreams in seconds.

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40. Or an ingenious one.


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41. (But remember the old adage:)

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42. Draw chalk around the food that you don’t want ants to get in.

Like your pet’s food bowl.

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43. Put some Kool-Aid in your beer.

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44. Put scrunchies on your dog.

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45. Remember that Bill Clinton used to listen to Hole.

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46. And that life is both sweet AND sour.

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47. Be glad you’re not these guys.

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48. Give yourself a fucking hug.

You deserve it!

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