I was seven years old when Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (1998) debuted in the US. And I was pretty into it.
But I stopped reading after the first book, and I just wasn’t invested enough to the see the movie when it came out in 2001.
Seems weird, right? But growing up, Paid In Full was my favorite movie. I loved seeing people who looked like me on the screen, and people I could actually relate to.
But I've grown tired of being on the outside of all the Harry Potter inside jokes that I hear almost daily.
So, fourteen years after the first film's release I decided to finally watch it. These are my thoughts.
1. Hagrid is way too badass for that little ass bike he's riding right now.
2. I wonder what he looks like without that beard.
3. *Googles him
4. Oh.
5. He is definitely way less Hagrid-y.
6. WOW DUDLEY THE FUCKBOY! Stomping all the asbestos dust on Harry...
7. Harry is having an acid trip with these snakes for sure.
8. Harry's aunt and uncle are the true witches in the damn family.
9. Why do they hate Harry so much?!
10. I wonder if Drake got his OVO logo inspiration from all these owls.
10. Hagrid got some nerve trying to fat shame little homie like that.
11. You gotta get Ron ALLLL THE WAY out of here with that prison sandwich! 😭
12. Poor Ron Weasley and his government-issued wand...
13. Ayeee Hermione been lit! So sure of herself at that age.
14. First two black kids I've seen! Mouthing words with no actual dialogue though. 👀
15. It's so funny, and by funny I mean frustrating, how the underrepresentation of color isn't seen as problematic, but I digress.
16. White wizards doing black magic.
17. Ron cannot get a break!
18. The first thing you DON'T do is touch the sperm-like goop that just fell on your shoulder Ron.
19. Damn. I don't think the sink is the best place to hide Hermione.
20. Wow she took the blame like a champ!
21. That Ozzy Osbourne (Professor Snape) wizard is giving me the heebeejeebees.
22. OK first black kid got some dialogue announcing the Quidditch games!
23. Quidditch looks HELLA dangerous.
24. I wonder if any wizards have died while playing Quidditch?
25. Probably, but I feel like the Hogwarts staff kept it a secret.
26. OK, it was super unnecessary to stand up on the broom like that.
27. I SERIOUSLY NEED AN INVISIBILITY CLOAK!!! Do we have the technology yet?
28. Harry, are you seriously going to leave a broken lantern on the floor like someone is not going to see a problem there man?
29. Man Ozzy Osbourne Wizard, you are a creepster.
30. I have no doubts that Hagrid has let out mad secrets.
31. How many times are you going to say "I shouldn't have said that" until you stop saying "it"?
32. Man, Hagrid messy AF.
33. Ron got heart!
34. Oh how Scooby Doo of you, Professor Quirrell. Surprised he didn't call Harry a meddling kid.
35. Professor Quirrell the back of your head is ridiculous!!!
36. Dang the graphics look really good here!
37. Someone should make a meme of Professor Quirrell after Harry touched him and it should say "When you open the over door after its preheated."
38. Nevermind! I did it.
39. Y'all really going to give these kids a measly ass 50 points and Harry 60 points when they risked their lives?! I'm offended.
40. Hermione really deserves like a thousand points, she saved their asses a couple times.
41. These kids will for sure be scarred for life from what has transpired throughout their time at Hogwarts.
42. Hagrid's messy ass probably could've given Harry that family portrait a little earlier.
43. "Oh yeah, your near death experience reminded me!..."
44. Whew, I feel like I finally fit in with the kids in my generation.
45. I enjoyed this! Although I couldn't really see my little eleven-year-old self flipping out like most of the kids in my generation did.
46. But I can see how everyone else did and still do... I mean it's magic and stuff! That will forever be super tight to a kid.
47. I'm hyped to see the next one!
Chamber Of Secrets, you got next.
