comiccon

The 5 Stages Of Comic-Con Grief

Avengers assemble, Hunters hop in your Impalas, and Whovians grab your favorite companion, because it’s that time of the year! Time to sit and cry about the fact that you’re not at Comic-Con. Again.

1. Step 1: Denial


Who cares about Comic-Con, anyway? Not you. Never. Comic-Con sucks.

2. Why out of all of time and space would you want to be THERE?

You don’t. You’ve got better places to be. Like, uh… wait for it… uhm.

3. You tell your friends…

Like at all.

4. And you know what?

5. Because…

These aren’t “crazy eyes”, they just always look like that.

6. Look at all this overpriced junk.

Nobody likes Coulson.

You’re not the king. You’re just a stupid toy.

Stop trying to be Skrillex, pony.

Those Starks are a bunch of try-hards.

11. You don’t even watch these shows.

Doesn’t everyone know you only enjoy reality TV these days?

Doctor Don’t-Care-Who, that’s who!

13. Plus it’s, like, all lines.

This is probably a line for a line.

This one’s just for the bathrooms.

16. And the costumes are all terrible.

Like who is he even supposed to be, am I right?

17. That’s probably not even real blood.

18. These guys didn’t even TRY.

There is nothing super about them.

19. Step 2: Anger


THIS ISN’T FAIR AND YOU HATE EVERYONE. YOU SHOULD BE AT COMIC-CON, NOT THEM. YOU DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS PUNISHMENT.

AND NO, YOU WILL NOT STOP USING CAPS LOCK, DAMN IT.

20. OK fine. So you did want to go.

21. You’re sorry for all those terrible things you said.

22. And now when you see people posting about all the fun they’re having at Comic-Con, you’re like…

24. And then when you found out they got into the X-Files 20th anniversary panel?!

ajkshdkd

26. Your non-nerd friends are all like…

You should probably put the heavy costume sword down, bro.

28. Because they just don’t get it.

Whatever. The internet understands your pain at least.

29. Step 3: Bargaining


It’s not too late. Sure, Comic-Con already started and you live all the way across the country, but you’re clever. You can find a way.

31. You’ll just sell your car and all of your stuff…

It’s only logical.

32. Hitch a ride…

33. And dedicate the rest of your life to religion if this works out.

I mean, how hard can it be!?

34. Which it won’t.

Because let’s face it, you’re way too lazy for all that.

35. Step 4: Depression


Just… ugh. Remember how you’re still not at Comic-Con?

37. Watching camera phone versions of the panels online just isn’t the same.

38. Especially when all your friends are in San Diego.

39. Where they’re probably, like, meeting Stan Lee himself or something.

Assholes.

40. Meanwhile you’re still here. Doing nothing.

41. But you know what?

No. What?

42. Step 5: Acceptance


You can really only feel sorry for yourself for so long. Polish off the self loathing with some ice cream and a marathon of Battlestar Galactica and then pick yourself up off the floor, because…

43. You’re not the only one who feels like they’re missing out.

Aww, internet hugs.

44. And there’s always next year!

45. If you start saving now you can probably get a VIP package by then anyway.

And hey, in the meantime there’s always the internet.

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