1. How to introduce them to hummus is never easy.
FOUND: east london's most middle class parenting book at @VictoriaParkBks
2. Same problem with sushi.
3. When your love for organic baby carrots is "ridiculous".
my love for organic baby carrots is ridiculous
4. Choosing schools is a nightmare.
Grim middle class parent on Today needs a new school for her children because she saw a pregnant girl going into the existing one.
5. It's embarrassing when your two-year-old corrects your Spanish.
My child just asked me to sing for her in Spanish and then corrected my enunciation. She's two. I wonder if she likes my outfit.
6. So it's important to know when discipline is appropriate.
witnessed a great piece of middle class parent-child interaction: 'If you don't go to bed now then you can't watch Masterchef tomorrow'
7. Managing your Bugaboo pushchair at musical festivals is a nightmare.
After 20 mins huffing & puffing managed to collapse bugaboo for Camp Bestival #middle class nightmare
8. Fitting your Bugaboo into your Audi? That's even worse.
@MrsLRCooper we have an Audi Q5 and it is a nightmare trying to get our Bugaboo into it - perhaps Audi Q7?
9. When your child has a babycino problem.
Just dealing with babycinos in general.
10. When your pug eats children's toys.
My Pug just ate one of my sons toy wrestlers. This is like the 5th one she's eaten this month. WTF???
11. When you feel the need to buy toothpaste like this.
12. At NCT classes, you can sometimes encounter knitted vaginas.
RT @OCRadio: @emmafreud at our NCT class the lady running it passed around a KNITTED VAGINA AND BIRTH CANAL. #thishappened
13. When baby swimming is cancelled.
Our Baby swimming lesson has been cancelled because of 'a poo in the pool' #ithappens
14. WHEN BABY YOGA IS CANCELLED.
Due to very poor road conditions this morning, Postnatal Mom and Baby Yoga is cancelled. Stay home snug and safe with your baby!
15. When your baby does a poo during baby massage.
Dilemma: batman hasn't poo'd today. We have baby massage in an hour & he's likely to super poo if we go. Do we skip class or go & risk it?!
16. When your baby does a sick on you in the Waitrose cafe.
Baby has been sick all down my front & it looks like I have wet myself..in Waitrose café. Brilliant.
Folks, we have 3 VIP / hospitality tickets bought for me, my partner and our nanny (the 2 toddlers dont need tickets - the same as for normal tickets), the nannies visa to the Uk has been declined (today) so we are now urgently looking for a nanny for upto 6 months starting from June, part of this will include coming with us to Glasto 2014.Some of you will know that off site premium accomadation exists and we have this for us and our campervan, this uses wristbands and not normal tickets and they dont need the names until 3 weeks before the festival so we have time to get a nanny and get everything sorted.
18. When the queue is this long for the baby rave.
19. When your kids won't stick to the rules at the baby rave.
20. When you're Carol Decker from T'Pau and you speak English in a French accent to your au pair.
must stop speaking English in a French accent to our French au pair, i'm really embarrassing the family…. ……makes it totally worth it
21. Picking a unique and distinctive name these days is a nightmare.
Telegraph births column. A constant in troubled times: "A daughter Seraphina, a sister for Talford, Campbell and Tyrrell."
Brilliant. Telegraph birth column: Ezra, a brother for Dolly, Albertine, and Lilac.
No, this isn't from an episode of Miranda. It's an actual birth notice from The Telegraph. Introducing Elektra...
Telegraph birth notice of the week: "Grimston - to Gallia and Hugo, twin sons, Lorcan Sebastian and Hector Sylvester, brothers for Merlin".
22. When the only pubs you go in have been TAKEN OVER by babies.
There could be a Waitrose-based solution to this.
Hurrah, lovely Sunday in a middle-class baby pub. Your baby must have *this* many Waitrose loyalty card points for you to enter.
23. But just remember, you can't leave them there, even if you run the country.
