2. Or stay home. But be careful with garden furniture.
3. The wet summer has driven the people of Wigan to eat more pies.
4. The heat has driven drunk Oompa-Loompas to go on the loose in Grimsby.
6. And the excitement of the World Cup is proving too much for some.
11. Everyone knows the coolest place to be seen this summer is the World Watercress Eating Championships in Alresford, Hampshire.
Winner David White managed to eat two 80g bags in just under two minutes. He told the Basingstoke Gazette: “I didn’t have any practice, although I do love watercress, so that probably helped!”
13. Firefighters needed a 10-foot ladder to rescue this pigeon, which was “unhurt”.
17. This cow felt an urge to be sporty in Northumberland.
18. The sun shone at the Duke of York pub, but its sign was wrong – a disaster.
19. Passions ran high with this callous act of revenge in Bridlington.
22. Exeter seagulls hinted that someone should go outside for a change.
23. What is it with seagulls these days?
As the story chillingly reports: “Residents reported seeing a mother grab her young baby and dash to the car after being bombarded by the gulls.
“And another incident saw five gulls attack a single person – although residents said they mostly attack ‘in twos’. A teenage girl was injured by the gulls, ‘though not seriously’, and another cornered in a doorway, they said.”
25. This Welshman set out to find out how many Elkington Roads there are.
Spoiler alert: there are three and he’s still not been to the last one in Rugby.