1. Things are hotting up in anticipation of Christmas across the country.
2. Waitrose was kind enough to supply a Christmas tree in Surbiton. But was everyone in this south London suburb happy? No they were not.
3. Not one but TWO baubles were damaged by a 17-year-old reveller in Chichester.
4. Meanwhile in Basingstoke...
5. Don't even think of going out in King's Lynn if you have a fear of clowns (that's coulrophobia, folks).
UPDATE: The clown profession in Norfolk has hit back at people who dress up as clowns just to scare people. The Eastern Daily Press quotes Sally Beadle, also known as Crazy Bananas the Clown saying: "Not all clowns are scary people. It would be nice to fight back for clowns. I believe we are good at what we do and I don’t want our livelihoods to be harmed because of kids trying to get a reaction."
Via @SonofShalem.
6. Be afraid, residents of Little Treviscoe, near St Austell, Cornwall. Be very afraid.
7. And Atworth, Wiltshire has animal issues too, though thankfully they were resolved quickly.
8. This man breached an ASBO that banned him.... from touching or entering cars.
9. Our thoughts go out to the family of this poor dog.
10. A 60-year-old author of erotic fiction from Leeds has a novel approach to adding realism to her work:
According to the Yorkshire Evening Post:
"Barbara takes her work so seriously that, once, having got her characters into a literal tangle, she asked her son and his girlfriend if they could just allow her to move their arms and legs about, to see what was and wasn't anatomically possible. As you would expect, they were not all that pleased."
11. And finally, don't try saying this has never happened to you. At least only "small tools" were used.
