I think I can say a prayer or two while I write a check to the Red Cross, thank you very f*ing much.

#7 Check out that giant pile of rubble. With bricks in it.

I was moving to Florida for grad school. Boyfriend in Ohio says “I want to stay together, let’s not get serious with anyone while you’re away.” He is sleeping with my friend/coworker within 24 hours of that statement. Apparently, we needed to talk about our definitions of “not getting serious.”

Yes, it certainly was an ironclad performance. Good as gold.

I’m one of those people who cannot stand the Kardashians. That being said, she actually looks pretty good for being 6+ months pregnant. However, whomever is dressing her at the moment should be fired - her outfits are either ten sizes too small or so big that they are reminiscent of a circus tent. If she actually dressed for her current size and state of pregnancy, she’d probably look pretty good. Ugh, I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit typing that.

Wow…aren’t you a peach.

Now read this letter/these tweets in an Al Pacino voice. You’re welcome.

#1 DIABEETUS.

So, essentially, I can more or less disregard the emotional needs and desires of my spouse, so long as I pop out a kid.  Seems legit.  ::facepalm::

#30 ::standing ovation::

The irony of women holding signs protesting something based on Levitical law while wearing mixed fibers and men’s clothing…I’m pretty sure I saw a lot of hair cuts and trimmed facial hair as well.

God also said that mixed fibers were a sin. So all those kids are officially smited.

She can’t be homophobic…I mean, she’s friends with gay people. Duh.

#30 “I’ve known you were gay since you were six. I’ve loved you since you were born.”  DAMN ONION NINJAS.

Here’s hoping #16 never breeds.

#20 So those couples who cannot have children or choose not to have, what…fake marriages? ::facepalm::

#14 - “Protecting Gay Citizens” - you’re doing it wrong.

#13 has to be one of the greatest gay marriage protest signs I have ever seen. ::standing ovation::

One could interpret that as his 21st year as a human being, or his 21st year as the Beast. Also, if the spell had some sort of time-slowing property to it, it could vary well be that 10 years “beast time” actually equates to a single year in human aging - this could provide an explanation for why Chip is around (other than, well, pottery-on-pottery action). Oh yeah, and it’s a FAIRY TALE.