1. That you would rather have the old library back than travel on Epping Road during peak hour.
2. You have no idea what the hell the statues that grace the campus are supposed to be.
3. Even Macquarie’s PHD students are unable to get their heads around them.
4. Except for this one which is supposedly a prostitute.
No seriously, it’s a prostitute.
5. Our new library is staffed by robots!
6. And it’s guarded by the strictest team of security guards on the face of the planet.
“He sneezed, get him!”
7. But somehow they turn a blind eye to the millions of school children who somehow occupy majority of the library.
8. Sydney F.C train at Macquarie University, on the fields and in the gym. So we technically train with professional athletes, no biggy.
9. …..and the Sydney Kings train here too, which is pretty cool, I guess.
For the 15 people in Australia who still follow the NBL.
10. That you’ve heard about the series of tunnels under the campus. Well, they’re real.
11. That Macquarie University invented wireless technology!
That means WiFi for all you squares.
12. But somehow you have a better chance of walking into student hub without having a protester give you a flyer, than successfully logging in to MQ’s internet.
13. But don’t worry, you can always just go on your phone’s internet right?
14. WRONG! The campus is in the middle of a black spot.
15. Which makes no sense! The University is less than a kilometre from the Optus headquarters.
I’m not trying to be funny here. We want answers! Are we on Punk’d?
16. That you feel a bit hurt being left out of the UNSW vs UTS vs USYD rivalry.
We know that Macquarie is out of the way, but we want in!
17. But that’s ok, because Macquarie have UWS to make fun of.
Stay calm UWS, we’re just having fun.
18. You’re glad that this man didn’t go to your university.
Suck it, University of Sydney!
19. But you’re pretty proud of Macquarie’s alumni, like Ian Thorpe!
But wait! There’s more!
20. And Chris Lilley!
22. You freak out every time you flush the toilet.
Majority of the toilets on campus use recycled water, so the water is naturally brown.
23. What happens in the Village, stays in the Village.
O-Week on the village even made the national news!
25. The same could go for RMC and DLC, but nothing happens there. Those colleges are more irrelevant than an Arts degree.
Even their websites don’t work.
26. Conception Day is the biggest day of the year on your calendar.
27. But then there’s the difficulty of explaining to friends why it’s called “Conception Day.”
Lachlan Macquarie’s birthday was always during a bad time of the year, so they celebrate his conception instead. Makes sense, right?
28. Having a class in this building is the worst thing imaginable.
Awesome coffee though.
29. So you just skip class and go to UBar instead.
Wednesday arvo bingo. Get on it.
30. Which brings us to our next point: UBar themed parties!
31. Not only do Macquarie students know how to party, but even the insects on campus go crazy as Macquarie University feeds cocaine to bees.
Don’t believe me? Find out here.
33. And you’ve seen Macquarie’s acapella group, Mac-appella perform more times than you’ve actually been to a lecture.
Get it? See what they did with the same.
34. The University has its own hospital.
The first university in Australia to have one on campus!
35. And that Macquarie’s Vice-Chancellor, Bruce “The King of Swag” Dowton rocks the bow-tie.
He’s also from Dubbo!
36. But last of all you know if you ever have a problem, The Mac Warrior has your back.
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