6 stunts that could have been Knoxville’s last

Johnny Knoxville is the host with the most….balls that is. His pretty face isn’t the only reason we know and love Jackass. It was also the fact that he is batshit crazy. Here are a few activites that COULD have ruined his ruggedly handsome life forever.

Last Day as a Journalist, First Day as a Badass

A legend was born when Big Brother magazine writer PJ Clapp decided to write an article and personally research it himself. The article was about self defense, and which methods were the most…well…painful. I hope I don’t need to explain why this is potentially dangerous.

The Ol’ Shoot-Myself-In-The-Chest-With-A-.38 Trick

Via mtv.com

Simple premise. Wear a bullet proof vest, have a buddy shoot you in the heart, and let the hilarity ensue. We’ve seen the movie where he gets shot with pellet bullets, but legend has it footage exists from his pre-Jackass days on an actual gun being used on him. MTV wanted nothing to do with it, and its validity has been denied for years, but here is what Johnny had to say about it:

"That was a 'Big Brother' video, like, over 13, 14 years ago. I shot myself in the chest with a bulletproof vest. I had a .38," he explained. "I was really hoping the vest worked, because I didn't have any money at the time, and I could only afford the cheapest vest possible," he added”

Gooch Carts Should Have Seatbelts

First off, Ryan Dunn you are a savage beast and will be missed. In Jackass the Movie, Ryan was thrown from a golf cart (or Gooch mobile) after they attempted to rollover an immovable piece of pork. Suffering merely a concussion, Johnny was lucky to limp away from this one. You know a stunt is bad if everyone in the audience and in the movie is hesitant to laugh.

The Russian police, Stern…Stern but fair

Via tapedecksuperstar.tumblr.com

Gumball 3000 in case you didn’t know is a cross country race for rich people in the most expensive cars in the world. When Johnny and friends participated in the luxury car race across Europe, they didn’t get the memo and showed up in pieces of crap. What ensued is a 3,000 mile party from London to Copenhagen and back…racing. That’s 106 cars speeding down the same stretches of autobahns and dirt roads, all while partying and God knows what Steve-O was doing. Yeah, the race could’ve ended Johnny before ‘Jackass’ even took off.

To The Moon, Johnny!

In case you didn't realize it, half their ideas came from Warner Brothers cartoons.

"Even if the rocket doesn't blow up on me this time, there's still not a lot of good ways for this to go, anyway."

Well, in Jackass the Movie 2, it did blow up on him. I am taking a leap of faith here assuming all you good people reading this have seen it. The rocket blew up through the middle, inches away from tearing ol' Luke Duke to shreds, to the shock of everyone but Knoxville. He seemed to find almost dying hilarious, as usual.

Mr. Mean and Leffew's School of How To Kill Yourself

Jackass Wiki / Via jackass.wikia.com

"The skit starts of with Knoxville interviewing several people at the Gary Leffew Bullriding School and asking them about Mr. Mean. During one of those interviews, he takes a dried-up piece of shit from Mr. Mean and takes a bite out of it. He also asks people what his chances are, as always, people say his chances are "slim to none".

Thanks to Knoxville's guardian angel and some rodeo clowns, he manages to run away from Mr. Mean just in time.

The picture about isn't Mr. Mean, its just another example of what happens when the Jackass crew watches Looney Tunes and feels inspired.

BONUS!

Being THIS ridiculously good looking, and not being torn to pieces by rabid women all day everyday. Yeah, I'm biased. But just look.at.that.