3. You will never have to learn this lesson the hard way.
6. Also never again:
7. You will never know what it’s like to get your head stuck in a clothes hanger.
8. You do not eat up to 2 pounds of rock a day.
9. Therefore you will never look like this:
10. You didn’t just fuck up a game of Jenga.
12. You will never read this book.
15. No one will ever force you to dress up in a stupid duck costume.
16. Your first kiss wasn’t broadcasted on national television.
17. You will never be on Judge Judy for throwing a pinecone at someone.
20. You are not the random little brother left out of your older brothers’ extremely successful boyband.
Sorry, Bonus Jonas.
21. You’ve never been photographed breaking a swing.
22. You know Beyonce and Jay-Z are married, so this will never happen to you.
23. You also know how to spell ambiance.
24. You will never get Polio.
26. You are not this old lady posing in a pool with her clothes on:
27. You are not this old lady posing in a pool with her clothes on:
28. You are not this old lady posing in a pool with her clothes on:
29. You are not this old lady posing in a pool with her clothes on:
30. You are not this old lady posing in THE OCEAN with her clothes on:
32. Not you:
36. Not you:
37. Not you:
38. Lastly, be grateful that someone didn’t take an extremely unflattering picture of you sleeping and post it all over the internet.
Here Are The Top Stories
- Bill Cosby testified in 2005 that he obtained sedatives to give to women he wanted to have sex with, the AP reports.
- The South Carolina legislature took a key step toward removing the Confederate flag from statehouse grounds.
- Reddit's CEO apologized for the site's "long history of mistakes."