DISCLAIMER: What you are about to read has a lot of very enthusiastic capitalization.
2. It ALWAYS lifts you up when you’re feeling down. Lionel Richie is basically a musical Jesus.
4. Look at all the colors. It’s BEAUTIFUL. Rainbows turn green with envy when they watch this.
5. WHY IS THERE A REVOLVING DOOR?! WHY THE FUCK NOT?
6. Because dancing on your fire escape is an embodiment of the American Dream.
7. Historians claim Lionel Richie invented “people watching” in THIS MUSIC VIDEO.
8. FUN FACT: These are actually robots.
9. It’s a natural aphrodisiac — like oysters.
10. It’s an endless cornucopia filled with joy…
11. THE MOST BOSS HANDSHAKE EVER.
12. AFRICAN DANCERS!
13. DRAMATIC ENTRANCES!!
14. THE WORM!!!!!!!
15. DISROBING CHAUFFEURS!!!
16. CUTE KIDS!!!!
17. AND THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
18. These guys went on to become U.S. Ambassadors. TRUE STORY.*
*Not a true story.