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84 Thoughts Every Mets Fan Will Have Over The Course Of The Season

As they say in Queens, everything that can go wrong — always goes wrong.

APRIL

1. I think we’re going to surprise a lot of people this year.
2. We might have the most underrated starting pitching staff in baseball.
3. You know, this could be a pretty tough lineup, if either Ike Davis or Lucas Duda produces.
4. I really think we have an outside shot at a Wild Card.
5. If Travis d’Arnaud turns out to be half the player that Buster Posey is I’ll be happy.
6. I’ll take the strikeouts if Granderson can give us 30 home runs
7. I already miss WFAN.
8. But seriously, what is our radio network now?
9. Maybe Tejada will play with a chip on his shoulder.
10. If everything breaks the right way 90 wins isn’t impossible.
11. Bartolo Colon looks great for a 41-year-old.
12. I’ll give Terry one more chance.
13. That Ike Davis jersey I got on sale last season is going to be a great investment.
14. You know what, I kinda like this team.

Al Bello / Getty

MAY

15. If it wasn’t for the bullpen we’d be in first place right now.
16. We should wear those blue jerseys more often.
17. When is the last time we had a decent bullpen?
18. Has anyone figured out what radio station the Mets games are on?
19. David Wright is a really handsome man.
20. Where is my Lastings Milledge t-shirt jersey?
21. I like the scrappiness of this team.
22. I’m proud to root for this team.
23. Jenrry Mejia should never cut his hair.
24. It would be cool to fly into LaGuardia during a game.
25. They could be worse.
26. Okay, d’Arnaud isn’t hitting but still calls a great game.
27. I wonder if Gary, Keith and Ron could do a better job coaching this team?
28. It’s only May we can turn this around.

Chris Trotman / Getty

JUNE

29. Where is Thor?
30. Dillon Gee should grow his goatee back.
31. Rey Ordonez could hit better than Ruben Tejada.
32. I could hit better than Ruben Tejada.
33. I love Timmy Teufel, but Cookie Rojas was arguably the best 3rd base coach ever.
34. Hold on, we have the same amount of consecutive losing seasons as the Astros?
35. No one wants to come to the game with me?
36. Wait, do I always watch these games alone?
37. Kevin Burkhardt would probably be a cool uncle.
38. Maybe I should start following a Minor League team too.
39. Man, 2006…
40. Wow, these guys strike out a lot, eh?
41. You know what? Adam Wainwright might actually be the devil.
42. It’s only June we can turn this around.

Paul Bereswill / Getty

JULY

43. Damn, Bartolo Colon is really showing his age.
44. At least Philly sucks too.
45. If Duaner Sanchez never got in that cab we would have won the 2006 World Series.
46. I wonder what Oliver Perez is up to?
47. Endy Chavez’ catch was way better than Willie Mays’.
48. Where the hell is Wally Backman?
49. This team is really hard to watch without alcohol.
50. Fuck John Rocker.
51. Serenity now. Serenity now.
52. I totally forgot what it feels like to be in a pennant race.
53. Wake me up on April 4, 2015.
54. Okay, we’re out of the division race, but we’re only 9.5 back in the Wild Card!
55. It’s only July we still have two months to turn this thing around.
56. Serenity now. Serenity now.

Jim McIsaac / Getty

AUGUST

57. I miss Mike Piazza.
58. I miss Edgardo Alfonzo.
59. I miss John Olerud.
60. I miss Bobby V.
61. I miss Keith Hernandez’s mustache.
62. I miss Shea.
63. Man, it’s hot out.
64. Was Omar Minaya really that bad?
65. What if Harvey never recovers?
66. Or worse…what if he becomes a Yankee?
67. When does the college football season start?
68. I wish I still had that Benny Agbayani jersey.
69. You know what? Give me Amando Benitez in his prime any day of the week.
70. I’m in a dark place.

Chris Trotman / Getty

SEPTEMBER

71. Sucking makes it incredibly affordable to go to baseball games.
72. Beer at CitiField should really be cheaper in September.
73. I recognize one third of our starting lineup.
74. I forgot what happiness feels like.
75. Why can’t I quit this team?
76. I should look into seeing a therapist.
77. Fuck Derek Jeter.
78. I hate sports.
79. I might as well watch the last few games.
80. I need to really lower my expectations for next season.
81. Although, all we really need is another bat.
82. And next year we’ll have the best pitching staff in baseball.
83. I should probably look into ticket plans next season.
84. We’re gonna be awesome next year.

Nick Laham / Getty

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