1. This is your life...
2. A purgatory where red lights actually last forever
3. And you're always waiting for the subway...
4. or the bus...
5. or the ferry.
6. Only to have this happen.
7. It's a place where no one seems to understand public tranportation etiquette
8. And this is the only open seat
9. Because some people need extra room for their tail
10. Or their bike
11. Others confuse the bus for a mobile couch.
12. ...or the train for a bed
13.
14. There's always pole hogs
15. Butt Straddlers
16.
17. Boob straddlers
18. Aisle seat snobs
19. Leg stretchers
20. Sometimes there's a butt in your face for 40 minutes
21. Or a woman chopping onions
22. People think the floor is for gross food scraps...
23. Or vomit.
24. Creeps smile at you for unknown reasons
Seriously don't smile. No one is happy.
25. And don't fuckin' sing!
26. Or preach about religion!
27. Or try to sell your mixtape!
28. Oh btw, the escalator never works
29. Even the subway lines are reminding you how much this sucks
30. Sometimes mother nature intervenes
31. Which causes overcrowding on the train
32. Or "track switch problems"
33. Train advisories start looking like this
34. Which causes overcrowding on the bus
35. Where you miss your stop because of this asshat
36. So you decide to drive?
37. Enjoy merging lanes...
38. And the 18-wheelers...
39. Not to mention mindnumbing gridlock.
40. Where people like to check their e-mail...
41. Play musical instruments...
42. Rubberneck...
43. Or, you know, do other stuff.
44. Then your iPod breaks
45. But you pass a sign that gives you false hope
46. And you laugh that your odometer says "Boobs"
47. And then you get a flat.
48. So now you're biking to work
49. And this happens.
50. Forcing you back here.
51. With this guy.
