1. Watching pornography could make men better weightlifters.
It can also cause computer viruses and extreme loneliness.
2. Drinking large quanties of beer is good for you.
All your binge drinking is totally gonna pay off in the end. Livers are stupid.
3. People are attracted to badasses because badasses are super stylish.
By this definition Nicolas Cage is the most attractive person in the world. Oh, wait this one could be true…
4. Female pornstars are happier than other women.
How can we be sure they’re not faking it?
5. Scientists finally figure out “cool.”
An argument between two psychologists over the “coolness” of Steve Buscemi resulted in a scientific study on the essence of cool. I’m not kidding.
6. Dieting makes you fat.
So go ahead, have those extra four burgers.
7. Men prefer flings with dumb-looking women.
Especially if they don’t know how to operate a telephone.
8. The “3 second rule” is totally legit.
Germs and bacteria wait 3 seconds too, right?
9. Scientists can tell whether you’re gay or straight based on eye dialation.
So that’s why we shouldn’t stare at the sun too long?
10. Research shows that rich people lie and cheat a lot.
And we needed a study to prove this?
11. Four or more cups of coffee per day fights off cancer.
So the twitching and inability to focus is a good thing?
12. Eating egg yolks is as bad as smoking.
Second-hand egg-yolk eating is the U.S.’s biggest killer.
13. Castration is the key for long life in men.
Sounds like fun.
14. Investment banking can be bad for your health.
Immortality doesn’t stem from huge Christmas bonuses, impossibly long hours and four steak dinners per week?
15. “Cat ladies” are more likey to commit suicide.
Bullshit. If BuzzFeed has proved one thing it’s that cute cats bring happiness into all our lives.
16. Power walking reduces the risk of having a heart attack in half.
What about regular walking? Jogging? Running? Moderate exercise in general?
17. Giving blowjobs make women happier and more intelligent.
I’ve actually read this somewhere.
18. Eating chocolate may help you win the Nobel Prize.
All my best ideas come after Halloween and Easter.
19. Women don’t like beards.
Yea, okay. Ryan is confused with that one too.