1. Justin Timberlake is explaining how the media has contributed to the demonization of young black men by making them out to be gangsters who wear sunglasses indoors.
2. Miley Cyrus just got a flashback to the days when her school uniform only allowed girls to have demure, black braids.
3. Axl Rose just heard some white guy call someone a bumbaclart and is fighting the temptation to put him right about appropriating Jamaican slang for no good reason.
4. Kylie Jenner just heard that there's someone in the club using black culture as a fashion accessory and she's fucking pissed.
"Oh, I think I can see her...!"
5. And later is seen scanning her phone to check that her current cornrow is as tight and cute as when Kris used to do it for her as a kid.
6. Lady Sovereign is tired of having to explain that rap and street style has arisen out of years of black oppression, and isn't something that can just be bought from JD Sports.
7. Kendall Jenner is just reflecting on the general struggles of being a woman of colour.
Is this real life? RT @marieclaire: Kendall Jenner takes bold braids to a new epic level: http://t.co/nu4Gnrr7qD
"Not only do we have to wrap our hair before going to bed EVERY DAY, but it’s also a fucking mission to get the right foundation shade. We’re overly sexualised by the media, and light-skinned women are treated differently to women with darker skin."
8. Khloe Kardashian is worried that most of the people trying out braids these days have never picked up a copy of Edward Said in their lives.
9. As a kid, Jonathan Davis' dad told him that his tuff dreads would make him as strong as the Lion of Judah – and look at him now.
10. David Beckham is remembering those dark school days when people used to touch his afro without asking and sang songs from The Lion King at him.
11. Kim just longs for the day when people will stop and consider the link between appropriation and exploitation in mainstream Western media.
Whenever I need an instant lol I just google Kim Kardashian cornrows.
12. Ke$ha wants to know if her haughtiness offends you and doesn't want you to take it awful hard, 'cause she laughs like she's got gold mines diggin' in her own backyard.
13. Paris Hilton is just about to explain the blight of cultural appropriation and the effects it can have on black communities.
Paris. Hilton. Signed. YMCMB. Cornrows. No. Words.
14. Riff Raff feels physically sick at the idea of suburban kids trying to emulate and own black culture.
15. Jamie Vardy knows that if he doesn't braid his hair before he gets all sweaty, it'll puff up like Mufasa's mane.
Fair play Jamie Vardy etc etc, but let's not forget that this is a guy who once had cornrows. #wanker
16. Juliette Lewis is pissed that she came up with the whole "Don't Cash In On My Cornrows" way before Amandla Stenberg did.
17. And Katy Perry is getting mega fucked off with people who use black people, fashion...and watermelons as props in music videos.
18. Lady Gaga knows that a painful neck and heavy dreads is the price to pay for devotion to Jah.
19. So thank you guys for doing so much for the black community and showing people that hairstyles just ain't about fashion.
