Anyone who was alive in the '70s or '80s remembers those Calgon commercials where an overwhelmed woman shouted, "Calgon, Take Me Away!"
We made a lot of "Calgon, Take Me Away!" jokes back in the day, but most of us retired them in the quarter century since the commercials were on the air.
HOWEVER, a few proud heroes have forged on, defiantly refusing to allow "Calgon, Take Me Away!" to go the way of "Where's the Beef?"
And so today we honor:
1. This woman who riffed on the catchphrase like she was opening for Joan Rivers at the Comedy Store in 1987.
Calgon, leave me here but take everyone else away.
2. And this man who sounded like he should be opening for peak Andrew Dice Clay.
While some days are "Calgon, take me away", others are more "Grey Goose, do your thing".
3. This hero who took a meme to the next level by adding a "Calgon" hashtag.
4. And this patriot whose meme boldly put the catchphrase up front and center.
5. This mom who looked like she was starring in the the greatest "Calgon, take me away!" commercial that never was.
6. This poet who personified Calgon as a Van Halen-loving rebel.
"Calgon! Take me away!" *Calgon pulls into driveway, blasting Van Halen.
7. This jokester who should probably call poison control.
*sobbing as I drink a bottle of Calgon*: "Calgon take me away!"
8. And this funny guy who didn't care how many damn kids don't get this joke.
This Calgon is defective, it was supposed to take me away. I'm resorting to illegal Xanax.
9. This '80s survivor whose "Take me away!" face is Hall of Fame worthy.
10. This iconoclast who dropped his reference in a hashtag when it was cold and rainy.
This just couldn't suck enough #weather #workday #ducks #steppedinapuddle #wetsocks #calgontakemeaway
11. This pot enthusiast who was crazy enough to try to get the attention of comedian Doug Benson with a Calgon joke.
Hey @DougBenson don't you think Calgon would be a good name for a strain? After each hit, "Calgon take me away"
For the record, Doug never responded.
12. This minimalist hero who thought tweeting the catchphrase all by itself said everything.
Calgon, take me away
13. The genius who saw this cute animal photo and thought the perfect thing to pair it with was a thirty-year-old catchphrase.
Calgon take me away
14. This woman who deserves an award for daring to put "internet" and "Calgon, take me away!" in the same tweet.
Nothing on the Internet or TV... sleepy BUT in the middle of cooking AND I'm waking up at the crack of dawn to wash... calgon take me away 🌅
15. This selfie star who defiantly rejected thirty years of catchphrases in favor good ol' Calgon.
16. This blogger, who not only dared to title her blog post "Calgon, Take Me Away," but asked people to retweet it.
Calgon, Take Me Away: Coping with the Stresses of Daily Life - Please Retweet http://t.co/gf22Q7TM3x
17. And this hero, who does not have time for people who think her hashtag game is way, way out of date.
