1.
When your kid loudly whines "I CAN DO IT!" they usually can't.
2.
Onesies with zippers are WAY better than ones with snaps — especially in the middle of the night.
3.
If you keep all of your kid’s arts and crafts you'll be eligible to appear on Hoarders before your kid leaves grade school.
4.
Finding a long lost sippy that had milk in it is an experience you will never forget.
5.
You should never tell your kid about fun plans until right before they happen, because if they fall through there will be drama.
6.
Giving your kid a bedside glass of water guarantees they'll ask you to take them to the bathroom at 3 am.
7.
Nothing will disrupt your life as much as your kid misplacing their security blanket/stuffed animal.
8.
Staying up late to enjoy the “kid is asleep” time means you will be a zombie the next day.
9.
If you don't set up a separate profile for your kid, Netflix will eventually only suggest kids shows to you.
10.
You should never say anything in front of your kid that you wouldn't be okay with them blurting out in public.
11.
One of the most important skills you can learn is how to give the impression you're watching when your kid won't stop saying "Watch me!"
12.
You should never buy your kid a toy until you check how much assembly is required.
13.
Scheduling kid-free hangout time with your friends takes some serious planning.
14.
If you don't make your kid go to the bathroom before you leave the house they'll need to pee the minute you're stuck in traffic.
15.
Watching movies about kids in jeopardy is no longer something you're able to stomach.
16.
You should never let your kids watch Caillou because if they become a fan that little whiner will drive you nuts.
17.
You should also never let your kid try Lucky Charms because once they do they'll never stop begging for it.
18.
If you let your kid fall asleep within five minutes of getting home they’ll be up for hours.
19.
You should always bring a change of clothes for your baby... and yourself.
20.
If you’re not careful your kid will conspire to make the bedtime routine longer and longer and longer.
21.
You will love nothing in your life the way you love your kid, and that makes being the "cool" mom or dad really, really hard.
