Some of the greatest TV characters of all times are the ones we just love to HATE. So Ranker polled 30,000 TV viewers to find out the top ten 10 most HATED fictional television characters of all time. And while some of them are no surprise, there's one character from a Canadian television program that just might knock you off your feet....
This character is up there with the likes of Joffrey Baratheon (inbred psychopath who tortured women for fun) and Ramsay Bolton (psychopath who hunted women through the forest for fun) from Game of Thrones.
And this character... the arch nemesis of every parent... say his name: Caillou.
If you're a Canadian who grew up with this demonic child – yes, that's right, I am slandering a CHILD – this won't shock you. But for my non-Canadian TV lovers who might be wondering, what possibly could this innocent being have done to warrant such vile hatred, allow me to explain.
And this is coming from CANADIANS. CANADIANS! We're SO nice!!!
1. Let's just start with the elephant in the room: HE IS INEXPLICABLY BALD! Over the years, there have been rumours as to why. But none of these are true.
2. The show was designed to give young children a model for being an older sibling. And yet, the one thing Caillou hated more than we all hate him? His little sister, Rosie. Literally, look at his face after meeting her for the first time:
3. These colours. Primary colours plus green? That's it? Grow up.
4. The fact that they don't even colour in the whole frame! What is this supposed to be, a dream?! Because it's more like a NIGHTMARE.
5. The theme song is certifiably annoying and designed to insidiously seep its way into your brain and get STUCK there... on loop.... for hours on end....
6. And speaking of the theme song and original title sequence, he also sings: "Growing up is not so tough, except when I've HAD ENOUGH." That's a threat and a promise....
7. He has bad taste. For instance, when he decided to be a... "blue monster" for Halloween? How STUPID.
8. Again, he has (literal) bad taste and AGAIN, is a liar. Consider the episode where Caillou's grandmother bakes a delicious olive bread (which Rosie, his infant sister, loooooves, btw). When Caillou tries this homemade meal of bread and olives and LOVE, this is the face he makes:
9. The way his parents enable him in their robotic, high-pitch, placating voices. "Good idea, Caillou" this, "It's okay, Caillou" that. When in actuality, it's RARELY a good idea and whatever he does, it's almost NEVER okay.
10. The fact that little kids actually WANTED to watch Caillou despite all of this. It was like, yeah, let me see what that bald little b*tch is up too! But then, your parents would be really hesitant. And now I don't blame them because, of course, they didn't want us emulating his cuckoo-loo behaviour!
11. Caillou was largely inspired by Dr. Françoise Dolto's philosophy of respect for the child as a person. And the unfortunate truth is that, he has quite simply done the opposite. Years of progress and literature erased. By one bald ass bad little kid.
At the end of the day, I'm just like.... is there a chance we're being too hard on this four-year old child? Could it be that he was just navigating the responsibility of his newfound promotion to big brother? Is Caillou just.... a reflection of the inner child in all of us?
