1. Why does everyone hate New Jersey?
2. For such a terrible state, a lot of freaking people live here.
3. Clearly, New Jersey isn't the dump everyone makes it out to be.
4. Oh, New Jersey is the armpit of America?
5. YOU'RE SO ORIGINAL.
6. This is the birthplace of Bruce Springsteen, HOW DARE YOU.
7. We are the Garden State — key word: GARDEN.
8. No, really though, we have beautiful farms, beaches, and mountains.
9. So maybe the turnpike smells like burning flesh mixed with white cannellini beans.
10. But that's because the turnpike sucks.
11. As does the parkway.
12. You don't know what traffic is until you've driven on either of those roads.
13. Half the time there's not even a reason for the traffic; it's just there.
14. Maybe it's because of the large percentage of people who can't drive?
15. ATTENTION ANYONE WITH A PENNSYLVANIA LICENSE PLATE, WOULD YOU KINDLY GET OUT OF MY WAY.
16. Honestly, there should be a lane for anyone who's from out of state.
17. OH, WAIT, THAT'S THE RIGHT LANE.
18. GSP or turnpike during rush hour? Fuggedaboutit.
19. GSP or turnpike during rush hour in the summer heading south? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND?
20. I blame the Bennys.
21. BENNY, GO HOME.
22. There's seriously not enough parking for all of us.
23. Call me a Benny all you like, but if I live in New Jersey I deserve to go to the damn beach.
24. DO YOU MEAN SHORE?
25. Jersey Shore is easily one of the worst things to ever happen to New Jersey.
26. Fist pumping, tanning beds, public intoxication — YEP, THAT'S DEFINITELY US...
27. None of them are even from New Jersey except Sammi Sweetheart and Deena.
28. Wait, who's Deena?
29. And we will gladly take them over Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino.
30. I'd take them over the cast of Real Housewives of New Jersey too.
31. *cringes*
32. Let's get two things straight: We don't pump fists and we don't pump gas.
33. So thankful I don't have to get out of my car to pump gas.
34. But where the ef is the gas station attendant? Can I just do it myself??
35. Might as well go into Wawa while I wait.
36. My Heart, My Soul, My Life: Wawa.
37. Can someone explain why both the Giants and the Jets play in Jersey, but they're considered New York teams?
38. Whatever, they're both playing like garbage anyway.
39. At least we have a hockey team.
40. I'd love to go to a Devils game, but Newark?? I'll pass.
41. Or how about a day trip to the Adventure Aquarium located on the lovely Camden waterfront?
42. WHY THE HECK IS THE MOST FAMILY-FRIENDLY ATTRACTION IN CAMDEN?
43. It's time we just pick it up and move it somewhere else.
44. People from North Jersey are snobs.
45. People from South Jersey are weird.
46. Central Jersey isn't real — who are they kidding?
47. CENTRAL JERSEY EXISTS DAMMIT.
48. Can't we all just get along?
49. I'm moving.
50. Just kidding.
51. Where else can I get pizza and bagels this good?
