1. "Wait, that's your father?"
2. "I am so hot right now."
3. "I should quell my urge to scream like a pterodactyl right now."
4. "Wait, how old is he?"
5. "He's 54?! Well, I could make it work with a senior citizen."
6. "And this is, like, your biological father?"
7. "Oh, he's still married to your mother?"
8. "Well, that's about to change really quickly 'cause I'm about to become your stepmother, dear friend."
9. "I wonder if he'd let me do a little dance for him. Ya know, something simple."
10. "So...I really think your father and I should hit the dance floor. I have a few moves to show him."
'Cause we can do this right here, right now!
11. "This could be us but you playin'."
12. "Can I call him 'daddy?'"
13. "Quit playin'. He's really still with your mom?"
14. "Does he need a place to sit? Because there's an empty seat right next to me."
15. "My friend's mom is a little too touchy-feely. Girl stop."
16. "Ugh. He could do so much better. Hello, I am sitting right here."
17. "I wonder if he'd give me a pet name?"
18. "Maybe he'll call me his 'Beautiful Brown McDouble!' That's super cute."
19. "OK, seriously, when is the next family outing because I really need your dad to be present and accounted for."
20. "I should summon a spell to make him mine."
21. "Well, since your father is probably off limits, would you happen to have any cute uncles?"
Stay thirsty, y'all!
