1. “Hah, where even is the Philippines?”
How you want to respond: It’s in Asia. Are you telling me you have never studied at least two-thirds of a world map?
2. “That’s weird. I couldn’t tell what kind of Asian you are.”
How you want to respond: I didn’t know my ethnicity was part of a guessing game. Do you get tact and social skills if you win?
3. “You seem a little dark to be Asian.”
How you want to respond: Yeah, no, that’s clearly because I’ve been out working hard in the rice fields.
4. “Wait… no, you’re definitely more Chinese/Japanese/Thai/etc.”
How you want to respond: Are you choosing my identity for me, or are you deciding what you’re having for dinner tonight?
5. “But Filipinos aren’t really Asian though, right?”
How you want to respond: The Philippines is in Asia. Therefore, Filipinos can call themselves Asian. Plain and simple.
6. “Why aren’t your eyes, like, you know…slanted?”
How you want to respond: >____> How about now?
7. “If you’re Asian, why do you have a Spanish-sounding name?”
How you want to respond: Would you like me to give you a lecture on colonialism and the Spanish diaspora, or…?
8. “But you do get Asian glow when you drink?”
How you want to respond: YES, BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT.
9. “I know someone Filipino! Do you know [name here]?”
How you want to respond: It’s a country of 100 million people with 13 million more abroad and you think I know your childhood neighbor who once cooked your family pansit?
10. “Yeah, she’s a nurse. Are you a nurse too?”
How you want to respond: Yes, by the Transitive Property of the Philippines (TPP), I too am a registered nurse — and doctor, lawyer, artist, engineer, scientist, academic, and also shoemaker.
11. “You’re so pretty/handsome/good-looking for a Filipino!”
How you want to respond: Omg I’m so glad you find me conventionally attractive by your Western standards of beauty!
12. “I’m so into Filipino guys. They’re so sweet and nice.”
How you want to respond: Don’t give them that much credit. You can thank their mothers for that.
13. “I’m so into Filipino girls. They’re so shy and quiet.”
How you want to respond: Oh, don’t give them that much credit. You can thank the patriarchy for that.
14. “I once dated a Filipino in college.”
How you want to respond: Same. My family was really happy.
15. “Oh, I know something in Filipino — Mabuhay!”
How you want to respond: *eye roll* Hi.
16. “How do you speak English so good?”
How you want to respond: I studied it in school, heard it at home, read books and newspapers, watched TV — and it’s “well,” not “good.”
17. “What’s that thing about the baby duck egg? That’s so gross.”
How you want to respond: You mean balut? Don’t knock it until you’ve slurped it.
18. “Wait, but no, really — do you guys eat dogs?”
How you want to respond: Personally, I’m on an all-cat diet.
19. “So your family there, do they live in the mountains? Or like, in trees?”
How you want to respond: Yeah, our country estate is right on a cliff and I had a treehouse in my backyard.
20. “But there are so many Filipinos in America! Are you running out of room over there?”
How you want to respond: American Dream, amirite? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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