1. On E!’s “Live From the Red Carpet” pre-show special, Ryan Seacrest interviewed Brangelina. Then, Brad Pitt photobombed himself.
2. Also on E!: A couple of Salma Hayek’s things distracted the cameraman.
3. Over on NBC’s pre-show red carpet special, Natalie Morales found out what happens when you ask Matt LeBlanc about Joey Tribbiani.
4. Showtime! Host Ricky Gervais reassured everyone he wouldn’t be as mean as he was last year.
5. See, even Jodie Foster laughed at his “Beaver” jokes! Until she didn’t.
6. Madonna’s arms were there.
7. Also in attendance was Madonna’s self-congratulatory drivel. For that, Mary J. Blige was not there.
8. Neither was Elton John. Oh dear LORD was he not.
9. Elton warmed up again shortly thereafter, thanks to a Madonna-bashing joke from Gervais.
10. To which Madonna gave her own sassy response, driving him off of the stage.
11. Meryl Streep won Best Actress. She was “surprised.”
12. Having overcome shock, Meryl Streep focuses on what’s next: Tongue.
13. OMGGGGG PUPPY!
14. The most beautiful people in the room remind us of how much cooler—and more beautiful—than us they are.
15. Flawless Queen Victoria Grayson approves of this post.
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