they should hire me instead! sure i’m short, clumsy, and say fuck a lot, but i got a good work ethic and can suck in my stomach for hours if you wanted me to.

sophia, i’d love to spend my vday with you, girl.

in my book, it’s ok to microwave anything.

SO TRUE ABOUT THE JULY THING. I was devastated.

#11 “redfood”? that’s only slightly less idiotic than redfoo

#19 at first I was like, kelly clarkson smokes weed? sweeeet

no thanks…

“your poor, bitter wife looks at a wooden box in grace’s hands.”
kiiinkyyyy

“…ever since being ignored by her classmate, billy, at age 6, jenn levya has waged a war on affection.”

volcanoes; the baddest-ass of all landforms.

am i the only one grossed out by this?

marv’s skeleton getting electrocuted gave me nightmares when i was a kid.

holy balls.

“COMMENT IF YOU HAVE A SMALL PENIS AND LOW SELF ESTEEM!”

new york. home of the two best and worst football teams.

WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN.

AND THE WINNER IS..
…kesha?

you mean what 13 year old girls still do now?

i dont know if its so bad its good, or if its so good its bad.
kinda like taco bell.