13 Snowstorm Rules That Actually Matter To New Yorkers

Empty wine racks are coming.

1. The storm will be nothing like the forecast.

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This is just how things are.

Forecast calls for two feet of snow? We get black ice.

Four inches of sleet predicted? New York is engulfed in a week-long blizzard.

2. You still have to check the forecast.

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Now is the time to obsessively check the weather for cancellations and alerts.

It’s also a good time to do your laundry. Clean PJs mean better snow days.

Everyone else will be at the grocery store, but you will...

3. Actually enter your kitchen before going to the store.

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Do you really need to go grocery shopping?

Do you have enough food to get you through the next three days?

Do you have enough toilet paper?

If so, you're probably fine.

If not, think about your choices.

4. Working from home is the best/worst.

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You get to eat and wear sweatpants all day. You also have to do work.

Get 100% clear with your boss about what is expected of you when you work from home, and bring home any equipment or files you might need.

Make good choices.

5. Walk like a derpy penguin. It's the only way.

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Yes, it feels funny. It will always feel funny.

Shifting your center of gravity makes it way easier to get around on wintry slip-n-slush sidewalks. Learn how.

6. Check on others to make sure they're alright. It's neighborly.

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We're all in this together.

You might not know them well, but go knock on a door.

They might really need supplies. They could also be making cocoa.

7. The heat will go out and you will build a blanket fort.

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Always plan on your heat/power/gas going out during the storm.

Keep plenty of clean, warm blankets and clothes you can wear in layers on hand.

And hey, if the heat stays on? Awesome.

8. Constant vigilance: always be prepared for an emergency.

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Plan out what you need and how much to keep on hand.

These tips can get you started.

9. Panic is for out-of-towners.

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People who don’t live here really have no idea how ready we are for this.

That said…

10. Reply to your texts or your mom will think you died.

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People who don’t live here really have no idea how ready we are for this.

11. This is the life we have chosen.

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Nobody said winter was nice in New York.

You didn't believe the movies, did you?

12. And at the end of the day? We’ve got this. Just like everything else.

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We take it all in stride, from subway depravity to Santa Con.

We can handle anything. We're New Yorkers.

13. Sit back, relax, and think warm thoughts.

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Like how disgusting it's going to be in August.

Cheers!